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| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
This is a poem I wrote 2 years ago near the peak of my depression. I came across a copy of it while I was cleaning my room. Dusk, dragging on into the night, Always regretting, Always lonely, tearless eyes searing deep into the soul. Sun turning from grey to black. Miserable and wanting more, Holding jagged rock with crimson point, Watching it's rigid path come to an end. I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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| © Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
mistikman: simple, but very intruiging and also very well written... i would be interested in knowing if that "jagged rock with crimson point" symbolized something in particular? perhaps a knife with a bloody tip?... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Very perceptive Jerome, and right on the money. This is a poem about suicide. The rigid path is the path of the blade across the wrist, or the tumultuous life I have led, however you want to look at it. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Very deep. I can really relate to you. It is short but says so much in so little time. I really like it. ~AF~ |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
mistikman: i was unsure if you were writing from your own perspective or that of another voice, but your prologue to the poem seemed to say it was a personal experience... i went through something similar (it seems many teens do these days), though i never took a knife to myself (i'm scared of sharp things)... and now, understanding your imagery, i wanted to say that i think it's quite inventive and very original... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Well, this isnt totally from personal experience. I never actually attempted suicide. I did, however take a knife to myself, but it was to carve the word "Alone" into my arm, rather than kill myself. Thank you for the positive feedback on my poem, I wasnt sure how good it was when I posted it. I have a hard time judging my own poetry  |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
mistikman: i think it's a very good poem, but i definately understand the idea of not being able to judge your own poetry... i see myself as one of those literary critics that can't write worth crap... *heh* the sad thing is that i'm not much of a literary critic either  i just know what i like and what i dont... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
Great poem guy!  I often (almost always) feel this way. And have often thought of doing a few harmful things to myself, but never carried through. This poem details those feeling to the very point of which i was feeling and it tells alot though tis short. Great work   |
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