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Teen Poetry #2
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A Valentine's Day Poem
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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A Valentine's Day Poem |
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jcthaman Junior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 22Hershey, PA, USA |
I'd like to thank you for all you've done for me, you've given me happiness and shown me real beauty, you've come to me like an angel from above, you've helped me to realize the meaning of true love, you've given me something to look forward to in this life I live, and i'm sorry if sometimes i seem so passive, but when i'm around you, i don't know what to say, i've been with other girls, but never have i felt this way, and i hope you realize that if you ever need something, that for you, my darling, i would do anything, and i pray to God that we are meant to be together, but no matter what happens, you're in my heart forever, without you, i don't know what i'll do, but i always want you to remember that i love you. bleh, i'm 15, and i've posted here before, but it's been awhile...this poem is for my girlfriend...do you think she'll like it?(keep up the good work everybody) |
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| © Copyright 2000 jcthaman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
WOW! That is such a great poem. It's so romantic. If your girlfriend loves this kind of poetry as much as I do, I think that she will love it. Keep up the good work. *Anonymousfemale* Live life for what it is for tomorrow you may not be here |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
jcthaman: i think this is quite lovely... as far as poetry goes, you could improve it by metering the verse a little more closely, but as sentiment goes i am certain she'll love it  good job..sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Do we think she'll like it! Man if she doesn't respond to you she is not worth the trouble. The meter could use a little changing like my friend Jerome has said, however I think she'll like it and be nothing but flattered that you wrote something so beautiful for her. |
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jcthaman Junior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 22Hershey, PA, USA |
hehe, thanx for your replies everybody...but one question...what's a meter? i don't know much about the rules of poetry yet..i just write how i feel and make it rhyme...i know that some parts didn't flow all that easily into the next, if that's what you mean...i'll try to work on it  ) |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
jcthaman: i dont have the expertise to give you a full-out lesson in meter, but i can tell you the basics... meter is the rhythm of words in writing... it's usually obtained by counting syllables (and often syllable stresses)... for example, look at the following lines: Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack jump over The candle stick the syllable count in these lines (respectively) is 4-3-4-4... they sound rhythmical because they have aproximately the same number of syllables being spoken in each line... let's look at it with a non-rhymed poem now: The bluejay ran Into a tree And broke his neck Here comes the cat (the meter here is regulated: 4-4-4-4) now compare those verses to these and tell me which are more pleasing to the ear... The mockingbird ran Into a tree Broken foot Here comes the cat (the meter here is 5-4-3-4)... not much of a difference in syllables, but a big difference in sound... (though i must note that some modern poets like to use irregular meter for the sake of symbolically portraying the "brokenness" of their poetry)... i hope this has been of some help... if you want help with syllable stresses and all of that, just email me ([email protected]) and i'll do what i can... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain p.s. -- i suggest you work on developing a good sense of meter and use it in your poetry, then when you decide to do "free verse" your poetry will have a sense of chaotic organization (which i think makes some of the best poetry there is)... A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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