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Teen Poetry #2
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The Winter Sun
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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The Winter Sun |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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Ah, the winter sun I look from my window It looks so warm, so bright I’m willing to forget the warmth here I leave the security to come into the sun Only to find it cold... so cold I am without a jacket, without protection And no way to come back the way I came And so I begin to freeze As the winter sun shines on Smiling without any warmth It smiles... teasing me Then I look back at the house "Did I leave that security for this?" I look up at the sun… it shines still It is so cold, but still I think "It’s so beautiful" And I still have hope Then it begins to snow The fluffy white flakes cool my skin even more As the sun still smiles And in my tortured mind, all I think is "At least it smiles... At least it smiles" The winter sun is you Shining with no warmth Smiling, teasing me So that I am willing to leave everything Just to be near you, just to see you smile Even though you are so cold... "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
I like this, it reminds me of a lot and is probably something everyone goes through at one point with someone. Lovely poem. ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Ah, a great metaphor here! You carried it through extremely well, and the last verse worked very well! I'm impressed! Beautiful, yet sad work this is. I can definitely relate. Great work.  *Krista Knutson* One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. ~*Antonio Porchia*~ |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Great poem LoveBug. My situation is a little different. The person I like is nice and warm, but insists on staying distant, never coming close. I hope whoever this poem refers to warms up to you. I like the relationship between the beauty of the outside, but the comfort of inside. I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
I love this poem. It is very cool. I can certainly relate to this one. Anonymousfemale |
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Die Lustig Kuh New Member
since 2000-02-04
Posts 7 |
Super poem. I really like it. Something I can definitely relate to. -Die Lustig Kuh |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Thanks for the nice commments, everyone! They mean a lot! "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
lovebug: this is, indeed, a beautiful poem... you carry the metaphor wonderfully throughout and before i got to the last stanza you had me asking myself "what is this metaphorizing?"... very good job sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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