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They Lie
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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They Lie |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
"They Lie" I see men that pass by Once i called them friend Now i wonder why Into the singleminded world they blend Contemptious eyes casting me away With Their unforgiving looks they don't believe what i say believing in nothing except their books Take a look at them and say what you see Look at them and you want see me I'll be without them till I die To themselves they lie ---Written by:Hoppy 10-10-99 <!signature--> <font face="Arial, Verdana" size="1" color="#000080"> "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. NEW POETRY FORUM ADDED Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!! </font> [This message has been edited by hoppy (edited 02-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
great poem hoppy...truly descriptive...  good job! ~~Lavada~~ "Superiority to fate is difficult to learn. 'Tis not conferred by any, but possible to earn"--Emily Dickinson-"Superiority of Fate" |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
hoppy: again, a very good poem... i do think it could stand some slight revision (for the sake of meter) though... here are my ideas: I see the men that pass me by Once i called them friends Now i often wonder why As into the single-minded world they blend Now they cast me away With Their unforgiving looks Because they don't believe the things i say They believe in nothing except their books Take a look at them and tell me what you see Look at them as if you want see me I'll be without them till I die For their perpetual inner lies just a few suggestions, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Good job. I would take Jerome's revision into concideration. Over all, good poem. Very sad though. |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Great poem.....I really like it. Salooma |
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