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One Day
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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One Day |
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Minnie Junior Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 14 |
I will love you more than words I wish and hope you feel the same way I wonder why I cry Pretty soon I'll know why I try my best to please you I'm afraid to tell you that I Love You Even if I don't know you do Holding you close and loving you Are the dreams I dream tonight Having you next to me is a dream come true The greatest wish that could be One day I wish my mind would agree. |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Wow. Me like. But maybe you shouldn't post so many poems in one day. Not only is it disappointing that sometimes you don't get that many replies [and I wonder, your poetry is lovely] though you deserve them. One or two. I usually post one and get perhaps...enough replies to count on one hand...  Lovely poem.~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Nice poem....but you should really only post a 1 or 2 poems. It's great work. But I don't agree really with doing something to please a significant other....I think they should accept the person you already are. Nice job though. Salooma |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
Salooma: i'm not sure i understand by not trying to please the significant other to me it appeared that the poem was about her and what she wanted and was afraid to tell him. Like she's wanted him for along time and she finally got him but she's not sure if she really wanted him or not, she got what her heart wanted, but her minds not agreeing i really like this poem, nice expression of feels without being extreamly wordy but the line "Having you next to me is a dream come true" sort of broke the flow when i was reading. I think if you changed it to something of the effect of "while holding you tight" would give it more flow, just a suggestion but overall good poem "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. NEW POETRY FORUM ADDED Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!! |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
hoppy: there is a line in the poem that says "I try my best to please you" I just diagree with that, but overall it's a great poem. May be i misunderstood that or something. Great job anyway! Salooma |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
I too see many controversial topics here in this poem. Before I give you an opinion on this, maybe you should explain a couple of lines. |
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