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Teen Poetry #2
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Junior Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 14

0 posted 2000-02-03 01:55 PM

I will love you more than words
I wish and hope you feel the same way
I wonder why I cry
Pretty soon I'll know why
I try my best to please you
I'm afraid to tell you that I Love You
Even if I don't know you do
Holding you close and loving you
Are the dreams I dream tonight
Having you next to me is a dream come true
The greatest wish that could be
One day I wish my mind would agree.

© Copyright 2000 Minnie - All Rights Reserved
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
1 posted 2000-02-03 07:52 PM

Wow.  Me like.  But maybe you shouldn't post so many poems in one day.  Not only is it disappointing that sometimes you don't get that many replies [and I wonder, your poetry is lovely] though you deserve them.  One or two.  I usually post one and get perhaps...enough replies to count on one hand...    Lovely poem.


 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

2 posted 2000-02-03 09:39 PM

Nice poem....but you should really only post a 1 or 2 poems. It's great work. But I don't agree really with doing something to please a significant other....I think they should accept the person you already are. Nice job though.


since 2000-01-27
Posts 271

3 posted 2000-02-03 10:45 PM

Salooma: i'm not sure i understand by not trying to please the significant other

to me it appeared that the poem was about her and what she wanted and was afraid to tell him.  Like she's wanted him for along time and she finally got him but she's not sure if she really wanted him or not, she got what her heart wanted, but her minds not agreeing

i really like this poem, nice expression of feels without being extreamly wordy

but the line "Having you next to me is a dream come true" sort of broke the flow when i was reading.  
I think if you changed it to something of the effect of
"while holding you tight"

would give it more flow,  

just a suggestion
but overall good poem

 "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity."


Don't look... you might see.
Don't listen... you might hear.
Don't think... you might learn.
Don't walk... you might stumble.
Don't run... you might fall.
Don't make a decision... you might be wrong.
Don't might die.


Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

4 posted 2000-02-03 11:00 PM

hoppy: there is a line in the poem that says "I try my best to please you" I just diagree with that, but overall it's a great poem. May be i misunderstood that or something.

Great job anyway!


since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
5 posted 2000-02-05 01:09 PM

I too see many controversial topics here in this poem.  Before I give you an opinion on this, maybe you should explain a couple of lines.
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