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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Respect |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
Respect Respect is the basis for hate devine You call out saying bow one at a time You call it respect for lack of a better word But in reality it's meaning is obserd You making the senseless rules That we follow as misguided fools Expecting me to follow and conform With logic ill concieved and torn Counting the chickens before their born Spite my words the world falls apart Falling victim to the individual depart Don't take it from he, she or me Look in yourself and say what you see --Hoppy "Which is the dream?" SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. http://members.xoom.com/weeklyhoppy |
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| © Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
hoppy: this is a good poem... i like it quite a bit... there are a few lines i wish had been drafted differently though (just a personal thing), so here's my rendition of it.. (just for fun) :> Respect Respect is where one must draw the line Between the base actions and the divine You may call it freedom, lacking better words But in reality its meaning is blurred You ideal the making of senseless form All because you believe we further the norm With logic ill-concieved and torn Counting chicken-heads after they've been gored Heed not my words & this world falls apart Unhinging the madness you claim to be art Look deep in the soul & find what there lies And tell me if you be so bold to disguise The truth of the matter, the depths of the heart All for this madness that you will call art sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
yes i had a few wording flaws in that poem but i just popped it off the top of my head with no editing so..... i do like your version though it relays quiet a different message than i intended to convey. accually it appears to be a total opposite in meaning. But it's worded well "Which is the dream?" SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. http://members.xoom.com/weeklyhoppy |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Well....respect is something the kids of today seem to scream for but when it is demanded of them they tend to revolt. I would like to know why that is? Respect is not rules, it is caring about other peoples feelings. I do not like vulgarity. Maybe it is because I heard it screamed in my face for several years by my ex husband. You have no idea what the other people on this board have dealt with in their lives. Just like we do not know what you have dealt with. Now if someone was to get into your face and spew things that offend you, would you not dislike that? Well I wouldn't like it either. All I am asking here is for you to treat the other poets on this board like you want them to treat you. that my friend is respect. Jerome...your poem definately speaks in a different tone then the original. |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
"respect" as defined by webster: 1: an act of giving particular attention : 2: high or special regard says nothing about treating others as equals or as you want to be treated, but anyway about the poem, i have said NOTHING about cursing, myself i NEVER curse. You are quiet closed minded about the topics of this and other poems. They do not revolve around you nor your ideals of the world and have absolutly nothing to do with you and esspcially not your ex. This is my view of the world, this is my view of authority and rule makers. Open your mind and see beyond yourself and your own vices and see what i say and not what you want it to mean. oh yes almost forgot, the reason people revolt. We're given borders, bouderies, and restrictions given to us by those of "higher authority, these borders are not made by us so in essence we're freeing ourselves and not revolting. War is made by those who make unmovable bounderies and such is the war of the youth. "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. http://members.xoom.com/weeklyhoppy |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
hoppy. I am human and I admit I make mistakes. I had come from a post by ryun and I was on the defensive. I read your poem in a totally different context then it was written. It is not because I am closed minded nor because I am an adult. It is beacuse of the circumstances I was dealing with immediately before reading this piece. I am sorry if I insulted your senses or said anything inappropriate. Will you accept my apology?  |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
yes i accept your appology, but as mediator or whatever it is you call it, your supposed to be an example for the rest of us, and jumping to conclusions about someone's work is not a good one. but that's ok, just don't let it happen again "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. http://members.xoom.com/weeklyhoppy |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
*heh* i guess my sense of sarcasm is lost here... the "redraft" of the poem i made was my response to the poem you posted, hoppy... it's arguing that what you call "freedom" is not truly freedom of expression in the sense of idea, but rather expression for expression's sake... it was meant to be sarcastic... that doesn't change the fact that i like your poem, however... i just dont agree with your sentiment... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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