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Teen Poetry #2
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Shy
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Shy |
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ryun Junior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 33elsinore, ca, usa |
The thoughts and conclussions I come to, Enlightning perceptions to Imagine through your life You tried to explain and figure the world All this is flowing driving you mad Explaining thoughts i had.. Twisting your brain While the other goes insaine Worry only holds you back Fear keeps you safe Break free Through the sides Over come what makes you shy |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
another great poem! Misspelled words though...but still a great poem!  ~~Lavada "Superiority to fate is difficult to learn. 'Tis not conferred by any, but possible to earn"--Emily Dickinson-"Superiority of Fate" |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Great poem, and it is good advice to give. Keep it up! ~Kristi Lynn "Sometimes people care too much. I think it's called love." -Winnie the Pooh |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
ryun: the structure and verse is good, but honestly i dont like the idea behind the poem... i can understand if this is directed to a certain individual, but being shy isn't a disease or something that needs to be "fixed" (except in extreme cases)... it's the natural disposition of 25% of the world's population... i dont mean to sound like i'm attacking your idea, i'm really not, i'm just trying to explain why i had an adverse reaction to this  see, when i was young i was very shy (and still am to some degree)... everyone kept trying to make me be more extroverted and the only thing that happened was that i withdrew more and more from the world... you can't approach an introvert by forcing them to be extroverted, rather you have to start softly and slowly and work your way into their heart, then you can help them work their way out... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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ryun Junior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 33elsinore, ca, usa |
Thank you, poetry_kills I will keep that in mind |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Good work! Keep it up! *Krista Knutson* One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. ~*Antonio Porchia*~ |
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