Open Poetry #3 |
In Dreams You No Longer Hide (For the one I truly love) |
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Under midnight sun With stars burning bright You walked from my dream My pulse set to run By your touch so light A fast flowing stream Softly whispered words Words more felt than heard Breathing warmth across my skin Your intent conferred My body stirred Filled with lust's adrenaline You lie submissive Your petals in fan A flush of beautiful flowers Take all I can give Give all that you can Sharing only what can be ours With passion spent In blissful union I gather you to my side Feeling content My love's companion In dreams you no longer hide [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 10-19-1999).] |
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© Copyright 1999 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is great, ANdrew. I really admire those who take on the difficult rhyme schemes and create good poetry. ABC-ABC,DEF-DEF,etc is not as easy as you make it look. Well done. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very very nice! ------------------ Denise |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I don't understand much about rhyme but this was really and truly sublime! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Sir Balladeer: I guess those lessons I took from you in Poetry 101 are starting to pay off. Thanks for the kudoes. But you're still a taskmaster Lady D: Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the smile. Right back at ya! Martie: I took a lesson or two from the Master Bard up above, but other than that I just try to write what sounds right. I may not always make it, but I think I'm batting better than 500. Thanks for the response. |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
What a wonderful flowing of words! passionate! |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Andrew: Sounded great to my ears.. HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Truly Beautiful! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Love this one Andrew! ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Sir Andrew, what a fine job...do take a bow for this one. I love the format you used, the rhyme scheme interesting and it really accented the brilliance of this piece. Well done!! |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
"...Your petals in a fan A flush of beautiful flowers..." Exquisite! Nocht ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
To One And All: Thanks for the comments... I enjoy them as much as I do the writing. You all make me blush. :O [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 10-21-1999).] [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 10-21-1999).] |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Aaahh....Andrew, this is beautiful to say the least! I echo all the above comments, but especially Nochtdraco....that was my favorite line(s) too !! I too found the rhyme scheme exquisite and yes, quite challenging! You've made it look so easy! I also like that little face you made above - - **blushing ? Looks more like you're catching flies! LOL hehe ------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
PFF: I'm sure I've had my fair share in insect intake over the years... thanks for reading and leaving your mark... those were some of my favorite lines as well. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Truly beautiful...so exquisite.. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* I walk with the multitude, yet alone am I in their midst. -- Daniel L. Miller |
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