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Open Poetry #3
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RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

0 posted 1999-10-19 02:31 PM


I've seen the lives
of butterflies
wrapped tightly in cocoons of lies
so when will I
a butterfly
break free from my cocoon suprized?
Then I can be
what's truly me
and when my colors people see
I'll float upon the currents free.

RB

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

© Copyright 1999 RobertB - All Rights Reserved
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606

1 posted 1999-10-19 03:19 PM


Lovely! Liked this much!

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
2 posted 1999-10-19 04:24 PM


I thought the poem was very nice..but being the know-it-all I can sometimes be....

Butterflies do not have cocoons.Moths ahve cocoons. Butterflies undergo their metamorphasis in a chrysalis.

Sorry for being a smart ass.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
3 posted 1999-10-19 04:26 PM


Robert....well done....I liked this too!
U K Hero
Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266
England
4 posted 1999-10-19 05:18 PM


very good but, (in my opinion) I do feel there was room for one more verse. Do write more.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

5 posted 1999-10-19 10:34 PM




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Denise

Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
6 posted 1999-10-19 10:40 PM


A sweet little piece..I liked it!
RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
7 posted 1999-10-20 07:09 PM


hehehe systematic...I realized that moths do their thing in a cocoon about 2 years after I wrote this....but somehow didn't have the nerve to change it!!

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

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