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Open Poetry #3
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Potty Party (in answer to Christopher re: seat up or down)
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Potty Party (in answer to Christopher re: seat up or down) |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Potty Party I spent the night at Shirley's house following her gig. I had come to have some fun, but partied like a pig! I had had way too much to drink so slept upon the floor. I couldn't drive my Chevrolet, I couldn't see the door. I asked if I could sleep with Shirl. My girlfriend was the best. But all she did was say her name, saying, "Shirley, U. Jest". Some others stayed at Shirley's, too; because they couldn't drive. My Shirley was their friend indeed and helped keep them alive. I soon awoke at 4AM -- I had to take a leak. I went to Shirley's second bath. My knees were getting weak. I didn't turn the light switch on-- I just wanted to pee. But some girl left the round seat down! I splashed upon my knee! I cursed so loud (but no-one woke) and then raised up the seat. I'm courteous to most, you see -- my splash will not repeat! I went to sleep back on the floor but soon I heard a scream! Justine Ormous fell right in the potty, so it seemed! "Uh oh, " I said, then hid my head, since I am no conformist! I left the seat up for the guys, but feared this Justine Ormous. The chick was huge! She'd tear me up! I did not leave the seat up! I'd lie 'til May, I'd lie 'til June! I'd hated to get beat up! Justine came out, her butt now dry, the chef the night before. And so I rose to talk to her. I couldn't sleep no more. I didn't mention toilet seats, instead I praised the cooking. I said I liked her Jumbo Shrimp, and said she was good looking. "Jumbo Shrimp?", she said to me, then called me "oxymoron". She didn't make the shrimp, you see; we had a minor war on! And so I thought, oh lucky me! This could be Armeggedan if she had thought the lid was up because I was forgettin'. And so next time Justine's around, make sure you leave the pot seat down. ------- hehehe Justin T. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Justin Thyme - All Rights Reserved | |||
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
A man has GOT to know his limitations.... |
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
Nicely done! LOL ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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Richard 33 Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 187glen easton, wv usa |
I once had an experience like tiz. All because I had to whiz. At 4 am I heard my wife scrabling about, from the next room, I heard the distant sound, there was no doubt. It was a spash, next my head she would try to mash!! This so sincerely made me frown, so next time I left the potty seat down............ |
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Tidy Bowl Man New Member
since 1999-10-11
Posts 1 |
Guess I got here Justin Thyme, to save you a little face. To tell you some advice of mine, You better listen Justin Kase. Your problem with Justine Ormous, it is a story I've heard a lot. S'what happens to non-comformists, when dealing with the pot. See Justine was not mad at you, he ire was with Justin Ane! She didn't have a reason to, pick on you, you were framed! 'Cause everybody knows the truth, the pot seat's better left up. But Justine Omrous was told "Forsooth!" By Justin Ane since just a pup. A mentor dear, Justin Inclined, to tell a few white lies. No truth did Justine Ormous find, Though I swear she'd always try! So a sad sad case of bitterNess, is what this's all about. So get in there, clean up the mess, and do try not to pout. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
You're a grown man aren't you? You should learn to aim better!  Seat should definitely be down!! ------------------ How long after you are gone will ripples remain as evidence that you were cast into the pool? ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Listen and learn The fine art of self preservation Rule one states Sit down while at the potty station Whether man or beast God gave you a rear And if you wish to keep it My advice you'll adhere If you miss your aim While standing about You'll be minus a digit The next time she shouts "Who left the lid up? Damn it, I'm all wet!" So best you conform And next time just sit |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ok I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to laugh. But this cracked me up. It brings to mind a toilet seat cover my grandfather used to have. Amazing I still remember this. Gentlemen please stand close, it may be shorter than you think. Women please be seated during the whole performance. |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
I think that all males should have the common coutesy to put the lid down. Its just commo courtesy. I mean, guys dont have to worry about sitting down. So since it naturally is less trouble for them, they should save us females the trouble of remembering to check if the seats down. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
This seems to be sort of a reptile kind of thing. No laugh when big moma beats you ass for doing. I personal don't have the problem. Ha, ha got two bathrooms. Well helps a little bit. I've sat down myself you know when us men have to and got my ass wet. It really get personal when you the only male in the house. You made me laugh and laugh you ought to be in pictures. Heck I've come and watch you make a fool out of yourself. Wait a minute people make a lot of money that way? Your great. Keep it up. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well, just leave the seat down all the time....pee all over it....then see if they bitch!!! LOL..... (LongJohn was having access problems and asked me to post the above statement. It in no way reflects the opinion of Toerag nor that of Passions In Poetry.) |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
This was a jewel, Justin. I had a house full of kids with one Potty room! I have fallen in the well and was once shocked wide awake in the middle of the night after someone was inspired to put the lid down as well. Things such as this were always blamed on the cat we didn't have! Needless to say I loved this piece. |
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Jim Raynor Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 63Churubusco Indiana USA |
LoL Justin you never cease to surprize any of us hahah -jim ------------------ Love hurts when your flying solo. -Jim Raynor ------------------ "Be Nice, Every one is fighting a tough war against them selves" - "John Wats" - Jim Raynor( at least i think John Wats Said that. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Laughing as hard at the replies as at the poem itself My 5 cents worth....put the seat down when your done guys, wet butts can cause instant headaches if ya'll know what I mean  |
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