First Attempt at Free Verse

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Blue Eyed Wanderer
Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 84
Rhode Island, US

0 posted 1999-10-09 03:05 PM

I normally write rhyming poems, but I just wasn't exactly in a rhyming mood when I wrote this, and I just had to get it out.

When I fell in love with you
I didn't take the time to realize
That you might break my heart.
My heart's been fooled so many times
By now I should have learned
But I've never cared this much for someone.
My feelings have never been this strong.
I thought this love would last forever.
I know it will inside of me,
But your love for me died long before
It ever had the chance to begin to live.
I thought we'd be able
To get through any obstacle we found.
I know i could have, but you couldn't.
You backed out at the first problem
With our distance you said it'd never work.
Yet to me the distance didn't matter.
It made any time I saw you all the more special.
Yet you needed me there constantly
Well, that was your excuse.
If only you had loved me as much as i love you still
I know we'd still be together.
If only...

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-10-09 03:39 PM

Very very sad. I feel your pain. Hang in there.

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Denise

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member

since 1999-09-17

Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA

2 posted 1999-10-09 03:40 PM

Yes, if only *sigh*...I like this a lot. Your feelings were expressed very well in this. I am not much a free verse writer myself, but sometimes like you said, you just aren't in rhyming moods, and you did a great job with this free verse.

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~*~ Time erases and rewrites all the lines. What remains is the poetry! ~*~

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

3 posted 1999-10-09 04:01 PM

I too, could feel your pain and longing.....very good read BEW

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May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Blue Eyed Wanderer
Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 84
Rhode Island, US

4 posted 1999-10-09 09:57 PM

It's nice to know I have at least a few people on my side. Thanks you guys.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

5 posted 1999-10-10 12:56 PM

Very nicely done...one suggestion...don't make this your last attempt at free verse

Tara Simms
Senior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA

6 posted 1999-10-10 01:04 AM

Lovely read.

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

7 posted 1999-10-15 09:01 PM

This was sad and lovely!

Jenny

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

8 posted 1999-10-16 06:01 AM

So Sad! Wonderful verse.May you find your hearts true desire.*Hugs*

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2004-05-04 03:22 AM

very painful

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