Toerag's Worst Fear, (Judge Balladeer)

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Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

0 posted 1999-10-01 12:42 PM

Toerag's Worst Fear, (Judge Balladeer)

When Toerag went on vacation,
Early Spring of last year.
He got in a situation
Any normal man would fear.

While driving to Ft. Lauderdale,
Some bees hit his windshield.
So starts this agonizing tale
Of injustice revealed.

Sirens were creeping up from behind.
He stopped to let them by.
Was he ever surprised to find
What next came to his eye.

The van slowly behind him stopped,
"Balladeer's Bug Patrol".
With a deep gulp his heart now dropped,
He was in quite the hole.

The officer first looked at Toe,
Then splattered evidence.
Toe stepped away from the car so
A searching could commence.

This officer, quite excellent,
Was prudent in detail.
Under seat insect repellant
Found Toe in Buggar's Jail.

Balladeer, "The exterminator",
Was set to be his judge.
Rumored vicious as a Gator,
Ol' Toerag didn't budge.

He called in his attorney,
A man named Andrew Scott.
Ever pleased to make the journey,
He so thickened the plot.

In court Balladeer charged Toe -
"Non-licensed killing of bugs!"
Asked for a plea, Toe didn't know,
Just offered shoulder shrugs.

The tension was starting to mount,
And Toe began to fear.
Teeming with guilt on every count
In the eyes of Balladeer.

Then Scott asked to approach the bench,
Bally agreed, though pissed...
Then, raised his eyebrows without flinch,
Proclaiming, "Case Dismissed!!!"

Well Andrew looked at Toerag then,
Toe asked, "What did you do?"
"Offered", Scott said, with SHEEPISH grin,
"Tickets to the Petting Zoo".

------------------
Michael Anderson

I could not love except where Death
Was mingling his with Beauty's breath -
Or Hymen, Time, and Destiny
Were stalking between her and me.
EAP

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 10-01-1999).]

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-10-01 12:54 PM

LOLOL

Wonderfully raucous tale my Dark friend.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 1999-10-01 01:12 AM

Now we'll be reading about <b>you</b> next! What will it be?

Dragoness
Senior Member

since 1999-08-07

Posts 513

3 posted 1999-10-01 03:47 AM

Too funny!! LOL

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

caroline
Senior Member

since 1999-08-16

Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm

4 posted 1999-10-01 05:11 AM

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

Oh hell...I should have known better than to open this thread with coffee in hand. *LOL*

(anyone know how to get coffee out of a keyboard? heheheh)

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

5 posted 1999-10-01 06:59 AM

This was great Michael, you started my day on the right foot. LOL

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 1999-10-01 07:15 AM

So Balladeer can be bribed? *G* Hmmmmmmmm...

Great poem, Michael... ROFL!

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

7 posted 1999-10-01 07:26 AM

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

8 posted 1999-10-01 07:35 AM

This is by far one of the best non fiction poems I've ever encountered! A master piece! Expertly done!

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

9 posted 1999-10-01 08:14 AM

ROFL Michael this was great. Did Bally get the tickets to go in the sheep petting zoo?It is his favorite part ya know. THanks for the laugh this morning!

Sally S.
Senior Member

since 1999-06-07

Posts 847
Ohio

10 posted 1999-10-01 09:14 AM

Oh boy, Michael....not you too!!! LOL!!! You guys will never stop. (Thank goodness

) Thanks for the laugh.

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

11 posted 1999-10-01 10:27 AM

* Giggles * To this one Micheal...
So we are not Dark all the time eh?

Jenny

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

12 posted 1999-10-01 10:55 AM

Thank you, Michael, for bring this hardened (he wishes) criminal's actions to light. Thinks he can just come down here and kill our state bird! It was bad enough what he did to all the oranges in Orlando on the way down! There will be a follow-up to your poem on ABC's "America's Least Wanted" on Monday night.

Wonderful piece of work! I'm glad we are a source of inspiration. But just wait till I find that Andrew Scott. Thos tickets were for the back row!

Saxoness

Senior Member

since 1999-07-18

Posts 1102
Texas

13 posted 1999-10-01 04:20 PM

lolol,
very funny,
Love the humor, what an epic!

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

14 posted 1999-10-01 04:27 PM

ROFLMAO........fantastic

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

15 posted 1999-10-01 04:54 PM

Oh no, Michael, not you, too! Great job!

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

16 posted 1999-10-30 07:05 PM

Hmmm Michael, I was digging back here in the dust, (cough-cough) and found one I missed...LOL...brought a smile to my face!

(and wondering why we haven't read anything about you...)

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