»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #3
»
Inside Ice
| Open Poetry #3 |
|
Inside Ice |
|
|
Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
I need some thoughts on improving this poem I've written. For some reason, the main subject is never too clear and I hope I've written it in such a way that it is. Thank you! Inside Ice Calm, cool, ice No feelings touch me Cold, empty, snow Nothing escapes me Chiseled from gusty life Shaped from clay frozen I'm an ice princess Will the wind never release me? Collected, you say Indifferent to you Withdrawn from the world you wish you scream you wish you leave I'm an ice princess Will the fractures never stop? Touches to reach for Pulling away from the warmth afraid I would melt Caresses dreamed at night Waking alone, lonely crying the parts that have thawed Words straining to say Only to write on paper thrown away needlessly Chances wanted again To do something different the mistakes permanent I'm an ice princess Will the feelings ever return again? Raging inside Beneath is a heat I ache Under the ice is a child wanting crying dreaming sleeping cold Skin deep there is a heart Frozen in ice Afire with cold Dying along There is a fire deep Blazing and passionate the fire burns eternal Not to be snuffed in the harshest storm the ice melts, renews, thaws, cracks the fire lives still I'm an ice princess Will the fire inside never bloom? I'm an ice princess Locked in an ice tower outside it rages a blizzard I'm a china doll Cracking under the strain the shards falling bit by bit I'm a lonely child Wishing on an invisible star only to wake from a dream I'm a tortured soul Love chained on a cold leash dying a painful death I'm a nightingale With so many things to say but no tongue to say it I'm a snow maiden Beautiful as purity no color of my own I'm myself Melting away into oblivion teardrops staining my heart I'm an ice princess Will I ever find myself? Inside, there is a fire slowly dimming in storm's power Inside, there is a child wasting away in broken dreams Inside, there is a woman with so much love to give Inside, there is a princess alone in an empty castle Inside, there is lovely heart frozen in ice Inside is me I'm an ice princess |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Tiffany - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Although loss of feeling seems to be a reccuring topic it's a bit lost in the wording.Anger and dispare seem to be a part to.Nicely written but a bit confusing.Hope I could help!  ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||