Wishing Upon The Moon (first ever attempt at freeverse)

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Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

0 posted 1999-10-02 11:56 PM

Whispering echoes gently dance about
Warmth filled spirits enclose
Your fragrance heavy within the air
The image softly shimmers
Just beyond a finger's reach
Emotion sweet, yet so bitter stained
Raining within my soul
Promises delivered by a lying moon
You are here, yet so far away
Threads of my heart reach out
Flooding you with my eternal vision
Starlight dimmed in quiet desperation
Dreams reflect my sparkled hope
Of when our touch may be real
When the liquid firelight flickers
Within the most tender gaze
And you caress my weary face
And when our whispers touch
The moon will speak the truth
And our love will once again be.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Wise is he who faces the frailty of man with the strength of an understanding heart. -- Daniel L. Miller

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

1 posted 1999-10-03 12:02 PM

First ever?..Alwye, this is very poignant and well done. I especially liked the line 'Emotion sweet, yet so bitter stained'! I look forward to more from you!

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

2 posted 1999-10-03 12:03 PM

Very lovely, Krista. I enjoyed this!

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Denise

caroline
Senior Member

since 1999-08-16

Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm

3 posted 1999-10-03 12:08 PM

"Promises delivered by a lying moon..."
stunning, Alwye! You keep writing free verse, I'll keep reading!

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The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

4 posted 1999-10-03 12:12 PM

Ah Caroline, You pinpointed the line that was part of the inspiration for this piece (along with a lovesick heart). I recently heard a song called "Lying to the moon" and liked the phrase.

And yes, Satiate, my first ever attempt that didn't end after about 3 lines..

Thank you all very much for your kindness.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Wise is he who faces the frailty of man with the strength of an understanding heart. -- Daniel L. Miller

[This message has been edited by Alwye (edited 10-03-1999).]

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

5 posted 1999-10-03 12:48 PM

wonderful Alwye......this piece I enjoyed much......

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May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

6 posted 1999-10-03 09:29 AM

Well done Krista.....my only suggestion....don't let this be your last free verse, the format does you justice or shall I say you do it justice

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Man can not discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

7 posted 1999-10-03 04:27 PM

Thanks!!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Wise is he who faces the frailty of man with the strength of an understanding heart. -- Daniel L. Miller

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

8 posted 1999-10-03 06:41 PM

Alwye, Great job for a first attempt!! Hope to see many more over the coming months.

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny, compared to what lies within us.
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)

Lynn
Member

since 1999-09-20

Posts 316
Jasper, Alabama U.S.A.

9 posted 1999-10-03 06:44 PM

I really like this. Excelant....

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

10 posted 1999-10-03 08:53 PM

Thank you.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Wise is he who faces the frailty of man with the strength of an understanding heart. -- Daniel L. Miller

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

11 posted 1999-10-04 01:54 AM

And a very fine attempt, Alwye! Nicely done.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

12 posted 1999-10-04 02:03 AM

Great poem, Alwye
I love free verse poems........structured poems are rgeat when you want something challenging, but free verse lets you pour out your feelings however you want.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

13 posted 1999-10-04 08:43 PM

Thank you. Yes, I've found that I can truly express what I want to say without boundries when I write freeverse. I enjoy it.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Wise is he who faces the frailty of man with the strength of an understanding heart. -- Daniel L. Miller

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

14 posted 2004-04-17 05:07 AM

I've always loved free verse

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