Open Poetry #3 |
Structured Spite |
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
In my heart I felt the last of love die. My own pain has dwelt too long in the dark. Stark raving madness made my life a lie. My own sadness has doused passion's spark. Pray for dying love as pain serves you well. Tell to God above your venomous hate. State that love's deceit paves the road to hell. Sell your soul for sin not holy dictate. Truth always condemns what lies will redeem. Scream putrid love stems from cancerous souls. Goals die without form though we always dream. Scheme not to conform but to breakdown roles. Evil does contrast the souls who do good. Understood at last evil will remain. Slain by holy deeds your fame is obscure. Endure loving deeds to take on more pain. ©1999 DreamEvil ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved | |||
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
This is an AWESOME poem...structure, style, message...perfect in every part... One of the best ones yet brother! |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Excellent! In awe of your ability to produce such wonders brother of my heart. ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
and yet within the good lies the evil and within the evil, good...an excellent piece. ------------------ No matter where you go, somebody's probably already been there and gotten the parking space... |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Truth always condemns what lies will redeem. Exquiste!! Jenny |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Very nice! I like the phrase Truth always condemns what lies will redeem |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Thank you much as I put a bit of effort into the internal and end rhyme scheme. Turned out well I thought. ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
'Twas a difficult task you took on here -- and made it look effortless. Very well done. --Kess ------------------ You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
DreamEvil, This is a keeper, well done. |
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Serain Junior Member
since 1999-10-16
Posts 17Gresham, OR |
very good very dark hence dark passions |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Much thanks for the response to this piece, though 'tis not truly of the Light, still do I find it uplifting. ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, Dream, I must apologize for missing this the first time through. Ditto Chris, and I can see the effort that went into this one...I love the use of internal rhyme you know. Awesome, indeed. ------------------ Michael Anderson And after-drunkeness of soul Succeeds the glory of the bowl - An idle longing night and day To dream my very life away EAP |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thankyou dream for the thought provoking verse well done |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Very good piece my frined- I too loved the line: Truth always condemns what lies will redeem Great job ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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