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Why do I Take The Time to Write Such Crap
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Why do I Take The Time to Write Such Crap |
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starchild Member
since 1999-10-22
Posts 59manchester, england |
deep in the stillness of the night i once lent my soul to flight and floating far above myself escaped restrictions of the head consumed was i by such a wealth forgot the comfort of my bed before me danced a timeless fleet such beauty as the eye could greet and wonder struck my humble gaze but still the stars kept prancing there and never ceased but to amaze and left me high without a care |
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| © Copyright 1999 starchild - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Enjoyed the poem... might have picked a different title. |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Nicely done. ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Star, You write well I enjoyed the read. |
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Star Fairy 2 Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260cerritos, california, usa |
what does the title mean? ------------------ Don't Fall.. Rise in Love -------823------- |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Yes, you definitely write well. May I suggest that you have no need to continue posting inane, capitalized titles....? Your poetry will stand on its own. Just keep posting. People will read. Frankly, I usually don't read poems where the author is yelling in capital letters as if to say, "read me". But, a little while ago, I read another poem you wrote which I liked very much and so I decided to read this one, too..... despite the title. I'm glad I did read it. It is really very wonderful. Trust me. Your poetry is well written and you have a definitive style... unlike some.... and you have no need to name your poems like you've been doing. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
I ditto Lady Peri... I've passed this by several times only now to take gander because I wanted to see how others had responded. I enjoyed your work and think you should be more generous to yourself. Just my two cents... |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Don't see any connection between title and body of poem. But very nice poem! |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
A very good poem starchild.I, like the others,do not understand the title though. ------------------ A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extrordinaire! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I agree with Doreen...by the way, interesting rhyme scheme you used on this one, it worked well |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is lovely starchild! I enjoyed this very much! ------------------ Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
A difficult rhyme scheme to carry off and you did it with ease. Very nice. |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
I too like the rhyme scheme....never seen this one before. But I agree, the title is inappropritate to the poem......and does sort of scream "Read Me" I would suggest a more fitting title next time, as sometimes the title really makes the poem. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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starchild Member
since 1999-10-22
Posts 59manchester, england |
the reason i named my title so was because i get really fustrated that this poem which i am not at all proud of, as i have seen the like written a million times, gets so many responses while the poems that mean a lot to me like 'the day slowly drips through my fingers like blood from the petals of a rose' is responded to by relatively few people. that is why i wrote that title, otherwise i would have made somathing up on the spot, as i don't normaly title my poems |
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