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Open Poetry #3
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In the animal reserve (please read)
| Open Poetry #3 |
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In the animal reserve (please read) |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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*This is my translation of a Russian poet, V. Vysotsky Animal herds are swarming through copses Not looking for water nor for a snack They are searching for hunters and horses In their happy and cheerful flock Beasts have forgotten the elderly curse Deciding to face whatever still haunts them Like shirts on their chests, they rip open their furs They fall to the ground—but nobody wants them There are many in thickets, lurking and crawling Annoying like crickets, weeping and bawling Yowling and raving, hissing and flirting Attention craving and self-supporting Fishes are swimming against raging waves You can practically walk on them towards the ford Wanting for once, to be caught, each fish raves To fall on the plate... and then down the throat The fish is cold-blooded, it’s not like the meat It longs to get trapped in the fishermen’s net It dreams of a spot on the stove, near the heat With the broth by its gills, there’s nothing to dread There are many in swamps, gracefully swimming Covered with lumps, glowing and gleaming Peacefully sleeping and hibernating Dinner retrieving and dinner awaiting Even the birds crave for shrapnel in flight Slowly becoming more agile and neat So, apples could fit loosely inside— The thoughtful geese had nothing to eat Strength in birds is displayed in their hunting Attacking the pellets from a rapid dismount Each offers its life with a wailing grunting And not even scraped, each will steer for the ground There are many on branches, quietly squealing Sitting in bunches, strange and appealing Yowling and raving, singing and flirting Attention craving and self-supporting Fur-bearing beasts are tired of sweating They desperately try to get shot and get caught Not sharing their warmth is really degrading And they often dream of shedding their coat Just think for a minute, it’s kind of funny-- Walking into our banks by themselves Thousands dollars in effortless money As fabulous fur stocks on the shelves There are many in thickets, lurking and crawling Annoying like crickets, weeping and bawling Yowling and raving, hissing and flirting Attention craving and self-supporting Cold-blooded, caring or simply barbarian Pasture expending or vegetarian Slowly decaying and microbe consuming And self-displaying, glowing and blooming Happily gleaming, harking and talking Flying and swimming, running and walking Small and gigantic, strange and appealing Raging and frantic and quietly squealing Corrupted and evil, aggressive and wild Loving and civil, harmless and mild Beautiful, ravishing, radiance casting Gradually vanishing, or century lasting Peacefully sleeping and hibernating Dinner retrieving and dinner awaiting Fur is undamaged, fish -- fresher than ever Meat with no bullets -- easy chewable food Beautifully done, outstandingly clever Peacefully, quietly – and with no need to shoot! Wearing white aprons, commanded to serve With posters “Don’t harm!” and lit up with zeal The huntsmen protected the nature reserve With one commandment “Thou shall not kill!” There are many in thickets, quietly creeping Annoying like crickets, singing and weeping With passion ignited, intensively burning Thrilled and excited, and pleasure yearning Crawling and lurking, and face concealing Cheerless and murky, and space depleting Loudly grunting, running and standing With rifles hunting, with nature blending Roaring and yelling and peace disturbing Harshly compelling, clustering, swarming In bushes hiding and heavily breathing Mosquito fighting, jumping and heaving Peacefully sleeping and hibernating Dinner retrieving and dinner awaiting [This message has been edited by Master (edited 10-27-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
WOW! Excellent! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
A very profound and thought provoking piece. I really enjoyed the read Master! ------------------ A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extrordinaire! |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I am unfamiliar with V.Vysotsky. Would you explain the form and style for me. I found the poem beautiful and different. |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Master...this is exquisite. You've done really well with this piece. I consider it one of your very best! Applause to you  ------------------ "Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thanks everybody! If you have a chance read it over again, I've added more to it. Marylin, Vysotsky is considered by many russians an equal to Shakespeare. He's not that well known around the world. But in Russia people adore him, I'm personally a big fan. This poem has no definite style, I just looked at the original and tried to capture what he had. The whole beauty of the poem is when you read it fast aloud, it sounds wonderful! Thanks again! ------------------ I fell in love and kept on falling |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
any suggestions on how to make it flow a bit better? I think the 8th stanza doesn't sound too good, but I'm not sure how to change it for better. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Nevermind... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Master, you do have a way with words, and again the tongue twisting style that rolls off your tongue so smoothly it feels like silk in your moth. Oh, it does work well here. Applauds!! |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Very well done Master....and, as I'm sure you're well aware, don't expect any "intelligent advice" from a Toerag on how to make this better!!! LOL |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thanks Hoot and Toe! Glad you liked it. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
WOW! Very inspiring and beautiful for me. Such imagery. (SIGH)------------------ How long after you are gone will ripples remain as evidence that you were cast into the pool? ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Seems like this was sure alot of work! Very good read! ------------------ Denise |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you both! |
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