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PoeticPreacher
Junior Member

since 1999-10-20

Posts 28
jkljkj

0 posted 1999-10-23 01:30 PM

This is one of the poems I managed to write without rhyming.

The Dirty Dozens

A dozen roses.
A thousand thorns.

A dozen apologies.
A thousand insincere.

A dozen blessings.
A thousand curses.

A dozen gifts.
A thousand traps.

A dozen kisses.
A thousand bruises.

A dozen caresses.
A thousand aches.

A dozen praises.
A thousand insults.

A dozen truths???
A thousand lies.

A dozen arrests.
A thousand “getaways”.

A dozen heavens.
A thousand hells.

A dozen excuses.
A thousand abuses.

Such is the love he shows her in
Dirty dozens.

darksideofthesun
Junior Member

since 1999-10-21

Posts 12

1 posted 1999-10-23 01:35 PM

wow- is this really a first attempt??? very well done- id like to read more in this style so keep up the good work!!!

Ohme
Senior Member

since 1999-07-17

Posts 816
Texas

2 posted 1999-10-23 01:50 PM

I like the style as well. It sings to me even without the rhyme.

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

3 posted 1999-10-23 02:55 PM

Well done....flows easily!

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

PoeticPreacher
Junior Member

since 1999-10-20

Posts 28
jkljkj

4 posted 1999-10-24 01:43 AM

Thanks for the critique. I appreciate yall!!!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

5 posted 1999-10-24 11:52 AM

Wonderfully written!!

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

6 posted 1999-10-24 12:43 PM

Very Well Done!!
Enjoyed this much.....

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A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

7 posted 1999-10-24 01:11 PM

Very well done, Poetic Preacher. This does have a flow to it. I know what you mean about not being able to write very easily without rhyme. I've tried and tried and tried but it just doesn't work! I always end up with rhyming words! And when I change the rhyming words to something else the flow is gone! Again, well done!

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Denise

PhaerieChild
Senior Member

since 1999-08-30

Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon

8 posted 1999-10-24 06:02 PM

Preacher,
Even without the rhyme, it still sings!! It's very well written!

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If you love me like music, I'll be your song.
~Heart~ Dreamboat Annie

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