Open Poetry #3 |
My Utopia (challenge from Sunshine) |
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Against my back is an ancient Elm, towering into the sky. From comfort I gaze across my realm, it's beauty making me sigh. Many leaves spread from it's gentle boughs, enveloping me in shade. I bask in the comfort it allows, dwelling on the peace I've made. I sit upon this grass covered hill, inhaling the clean, fresh air. Sunset is such an uncommon thrill, I can do nothing but stare. Nature's hues are soothing to my gaze, calming my feverish mind. I am content to live out my days, within this peace I did find. Upon the hill's foot lies a crystal lake, reflecting a deeper blue. Pristine water my worries does take, all concerns I will eschew. Sparkling sunshine seems almost mystic, borne upon each rippling wave. The world itself seems surrealistic, granting the peace that I crave. The wind fills my ears with rustling leaves, quite a symphony of sound. A caress of air about me weaves, teasing me with what I've found. In the distance a voice calls my name, desperately calling me home. To my sanity's grip some do lay claim, for now though I wish to roam. Peace spills from life's cornucopia, to that fact I was once blind. I have found my own utopia, hidden inside of my mind. ©1999 DreamEvil ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved | |||
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Wow brother! This is so filled with grace and beauty, that I am stunned. Indeed, it is not what I would have expected, though I must admit to not being surprised...too much! LOL... I have known for quite some time now that there was a lot of beauty in your heart. A fact which you so eloquently prve with your expression here. Indeed, as the poet you are, your Utopia seems quite fitting. You breathe the life and beauty, (or darkness,) into your words. So why not find solace there as well? A challenge VERY well met in my op! (and perhaps a very wise message to others in search of happiness.) Chris |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
This poem made me smile just reading it.... Although I've never seen you, I can picture leaning against the giant tree, looking on at this peaceful world....my minds "camera position," so to say, even changed with each new stanza....I only hope I can one day achieve this in my writing. Thank you Scott, for gracing the forum with a poem so vividly beautiful. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- [This message has been edited by Systematic Decay (edited 10-22-1999).] |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Wonderfully done Sir. I knew that your diversity would thrill me. You have met the challenge and surpassed my expectations. Bravo my friend. |
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thursdayschild Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 169Houston, Tx. |
Truly love this wonderful piece (peace!) What a glorious place discovered... Thanks for sharing this |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Stunning DE! What a beautiful place you took us to in this poem!! ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This is beautiful Dream, may we all be so fortunate to find ours and the peace that goes with it |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Beautifully done, DreamEvil. And don't we all need somewhere to go for our peace. Soulds like a nice place to visit. Ohme |
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Julie Jordan Scott Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 146Bakersfield, CA USA |
Vivid imagery, deep yet soft emotion. It seems in this work contentment has been found. I can feel it flowing through my veins just from reading your words. THANKS! ------------------ Julie Jordan Scott is a Freelance Writer and Public Speaker, but her favorite role is that of Mommy! Visit her website at http://www.5passions.com |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Oh Word Master....I can see the vivid scene your words have painted here.Tranquility.gentleness and peace.......beautiful and powerful! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Peaceful.. Hugs ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Bashful Junior Member
since 1999-10-22
Posts 28 |
I...ummmm...errr...gosh....it.....ahhhh...ohhh...yeah...*blushing blood red and returning to my corner* |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow! Dream, this one took me totally by surprize. Seems you've had some deep thoughts of late too. I am amazed and awed, my father taught me of Utopia before he died, but I never thought of it being within a person's mind...very thought provoking. ------------------ Michael Anderson Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream? |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
This piece holds special meaning for me, so thank you for every comment. Sunshine, is your challenge met? ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I remember your very first post here at Passions...unformatted and filled with angry, emotional images....as I read this, I am amazed at your progression as a poet.. you have taken your natural talent and expanded it to greater heights than I imagined possible. I like the trend you are setting, being able to put yourself into someone's shoes and write for someone. This poem is exquisite. No other words are necessary. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
"Sunset is such an uncommon thrill" Spoken like a man truly at peace. I enjoyed this immensely. Tell me -- do you have a spare Utopia lying around somewhere I can borrow? --Kess ------------------ You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I will keep this close, DE, and pray that your future holds many days of peace for you - because you DO know where to find them. Bravo Sir - Bravo. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wow Dream, wow....I am in awe...your words have described my own utopia better than I've ever done..gorgeous work. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* I walk with the multitude, yet alone am I in their midst. -- Daniel L. Miller |
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