Open Poetry #3 |
I Love You Said Too Late |
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I can still recall each moment of that morning Lying there beside you, your hand against my leg; I was Overcome by such a feeling of belonging that I couldn’t express. Visions of the night before, all still fresh in my mind. Even as you got up to leave, my words, however, failed me. You turned to me, said those three words and I merely smiled. If Only I could have said them too, maybe you would have Understood, that I never really wanted you to go. ------------------ This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. ~Eurpides |
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© Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Lady Hoot: I felt a profound sense of loneliness in this one. If that is the emotion you sought to capture, you did well mi'lady. However, I'm left with the notion that it was the person leaving that said those words too late. Yes? No? Perhaps if said still in bed, the recipient would have never let the other depart. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Sir Andrew...yes, I meant to portray a sense of loneliness with this piece (although not my state of mind). The person leaving did say those three words, the person staying, could not...thus the person leaving, felt rejected and left. Had the person stayiing said those three words when the person leaving got up to go, he may have never left. About as clear as mud now, LOL, I even got myself confused on that explanation. Oh, I do so hate it when I have to explain a poem, to me it means my words were not effective. This poem is about regrets, about not saying things when one should, about loss and how sometimes so simply we could have prevented it. Wow, that was a mouthful. By the way, this is an acrostic if you didn't notice |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Lady Hoot: Your poem truly needed no explanation... When I first read it, I understood the situation that the one in bed spoke to late (not at all in fact)... but I was unwilling to take it at face value and was looking for something deeper... sometimes a book is just a book... and by the way... who is on first? Nope! didn't catch it until you pointed it out... must be blind this morning. A great job all the same. Have a good day! |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
I love this one Hoot. I know that feeling, of not saying what you should, when you should. Sometimes though, we are given the chance to say it later and all is well. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I could be wrong in this situation (I am wrong quite often) but seems to me it's never too late to say I love you. I do understand what you meant though. You did this well. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Sir Andrew...laughing, hands you another cup of coffee, wake up there boy!! Martie and Tara, you both snuck in on me here....thank you both. Tara, that's true and in that case you are fortunate Martie..sometimes we can wait too long to say words and never get the chance again. This is not written by life experience, just something I played around with on break at work last night. Trying my hand at a few acrostics and this is what I was delt [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 10-21-1999).] |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Hoot, I catched the feeling of regret immediately, reading your poem, so you expressed yourself very well once more and I enjoyed reading it, although I have no idea what an acrostic is. : ) Maybe you don't mind explaining that to me some day ? : ) Munda |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Munda an acrostic forms a word or words by reading the first letter of each line down...in this case it reads I LOVE YOU.....hence, I Love You Said Too Late |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
This is so SAD! Poignant, wistful, beautiful. Thank you for sharing this ... Nocht PS: You pulled off this acrostic very well; I never noticed it was an acrostic till I read your explanation ... those are the best kind, that don't seem forced and obvious! ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Nocht...thank you for the wonderful compliment |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I loved this Hoot! Great acrostic, too! ------------------ Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It is a good topic for a poem, hoot. Do we say them? Can we say them? Will we say them in time? What will happen if we say them? What will happen if we don't? So many questions to be pondered....... |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Hoot: *sigh*.. Precious words indeed.. HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Very sad and very well done........ ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Excellent verse and Message Dear Lady. ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thank you everyone for your response to this one, I appreciate it |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
I really loved this one. I didn't catch the acrostic either, but looking back at it I wonder, how could I miss it?? It is the thing that pulls the entire poem together. This one put a wistful little smile on my face. sigh ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well, Hoot, another well-done job, and thanks for giving me something to write about. (Been in a poetic funk these past few days...) |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hoot, this is a wonderful poem, sometime we do not say the things we want to, when we know we should be and we let that moment slip by. Loved the Acrostic, I LOVE YOU terrific!! ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Systematic, Sunshine and Dark angel, hey, thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it |
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traveler Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119 |
Wonderful poem ...it is better to remain silent then say something which is not really felt ... thank you |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Great acrostic hoot,I enjoyed the loneliness that this piece portrays. Well done. Jenny |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thank you all |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
well hoot gonna sneak in right after your thank you all *g* but yes this is wonderful, and Nocht is right, you don't notice the acrostic at first, just the substanc of the poem, and yes, that is the best kind of acrostic, beautiful poem |
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johnt300 Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 214san diego, ca. |
Ruth, This one I liked a lot. Very sad. You write it so well it is as if we are all there with you experiencing it, or have all been there before in life. Excellent. Tyson |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Well done Ruth! Three of the hardest words to say...and to mean. Better that they not be said at all than to say them without feeling them! (nice acrostic BTW-so when's the Sestina acrostic coming?) |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thanks everyone Christopher...not on your life...LOL |
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starchild Member
since 1999-10-22
Posts 59manchester, england |
darling hoot, you use words as archers use arrows, this poem came home clean and true. bravo and extra chops for you |
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