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Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

0 posted 1999-06-25 02:01 AM

A lonely man walks the night's dirty, forgotten streets,
And shivers as the icy wind blows over his ragged body.
In his mournful eyes lays an angry, savage beast,
Lashing out at the world that abandoned him to drown in torrent seas.

As the desolate night grows darker, so does the man's weary soul,
For happiness and everlasting sunlight seems so far out of reach.
He believes his life is unimportant, plays no role,
For how could a homeless person have anything to offer, to teach?

He hides from the world, immersed in cherished memories,
And tries to ignore daily humiliation and horrific guilt.
Oh, it seems so long ago that he was a wealthy father of three,
Basking in the picture perfect life that he had built.

If only he hadn't been so foolish, so completely blind,
If only he hadn't let his life slip though his now trembling hands.
Now he is left all alone, trying to seek the answers he wishes to find,
As he aimlessly wanders though this dangerous, unforgiving land.

As months of dark, anguished despair slowly creep by,
The man's looks grow dishevelled, his eyes mirrors to a heart of unending pain.
He finally reaches the bottom and wants simply to die,
But for some reason he puts down the gun and thinks of all he has to gain.

From that moment on, he plans to turn his life around,
To somehow regain the things that were once his own.
One last time he walks through this world that is hell bound,
And vows never again to walk these streets, discouraged and alone.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

gypsylace
Junior Member

since 1999-06-14

Posts 10
Prairieville,LA USA

1 posted 1999-06-25 09:09 AM

What beautiful work. What absolute beautiful work. When the reader is taken along for a journey into someone elses pain as well as their hope you know that the writer is a diserning person. One who looks beyond the surface of the man and takes interest in the heart, power, and reasonings of that person. There were maybe a couple of times that your endings were more wordy than needed,which for a second sends the reader off in another direction, but you gracefully bring the reader back to the journey. Overall a work well done. Thankyou for sharing Tammie

gypsylace
Junior Member

since 1999-06-14

Posts 10
Prairieville,LA USA

2 posted 1999-06-25 09:11 AM

P.S. check out page 11 I think you'll like the poem called Paradise. Yes he's my son but I'm too honest to be prejudice. I hope you enjoy it.

Dusk Treader

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN

3 posted 1999-07-24 12:47 PM

Wow! A very beautiful piece of work, incredible! I love it! Let's hear what you others out there think!

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

4 posted 1999-07-24 12:51 PM

Thank you. Dusk, are you trying to respond to all of my poems in a night here, or what?

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"It's a crazy thing, fate has perfect wings..."-Deanna Carter

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

5 posted 1999-07-24 08:56 AM

What a great job. You illustrated the scenery
as though you were walking in this mans shoes. I have always felt for the homeless people living on the streets. I dream of one day being able to help the ones that want to be helped.

INclan
Senior Member

since 1999-07-20

Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

6 posted 1999-07-24 09:04 AM

I enjoyed your offering. I hope you have indeed looked into those eyes. Might be nice to stop and talk to that man for a while. It is a state altered reality when you are that far down. Well done.

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

7 posted 1999-07-24 09:47 PM

Thank you all.

Lost Dreamer- I also dream of someday being able to help those that want and need to be helped.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"It's a crazy thing, fate has perfect wings..."-Deanna Carter

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite

since 1999-07-25

Posts 2646
Arkansas

8 posted 1999-07-25 09:43 PM

I've often wondered what goes through the mind of a homeless person - now I feel I know. What a great job you did bringing this reality to all of our attention. It's so easy to get wrapped up in our own problems - we hardly think of those who are really suffering out there. Keep up the good work!

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

9 posted 1999-07-26 07:14 PM

Thank you very much for your kind words.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"It's a crazy thing, fate has perfect wings..."-Deanna Carter

Ruby dagger
Member

since 1999-08-01

Posts 76
Wyoming, MN, U.S.A

10 posted 1999-08-02 11:16 PM

I love how you can show the real world in a poem. most people forget about the homeless. I love it.

------------------
Luv ya

Kelly

No doubt, this will be a night to remember. -SHeDAISY

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member

since 1999-12-03

Posts 872
just about where I want to be

11 posted 2000-01-17 03:50 PM

there are no words..i can't believe it..you are so gifted at poetry! Wow!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

12 posted 2004-04-17 01:29 PM

don't I understand

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