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the day of the knight
| Open Poetry #1 |
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the day of the knight |
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mojar Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 169granbury, texas, usa |
castles in the distance, banners and flags unfurled. victorious black knights, reap the spoils of war. taken from your place of haven, stolen from your world. i will give my life to save thee, till every stone has been hurled. guided by the gods above, i ride my trustful steed. thy peace and thy safety. my only deed. enslaved by evil and moat, i cometh to thee. i surrender my shield and my sword, for thou to be free. i bequeath my love, to thou painful plight. for you are my guenavere, and i your knight. me. |
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| © Copyright 1999 mojar - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Again this is poetry and this is the prose forum. Prose are essay type pieces. The place for this is open poetry#4. A couple of comments on this one before I leave you. You switch between old english and modern. This piece would be better served in either one or the other. I think you have a wonderful idea for this poem. Capitalization would also help this piece. Enjoyed the read and Welcome to Passions. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
The distinction in prose and verse being hard to distinguish at times, I must say that prose carries no repetitive rhyme scheme and uses paragraphing rather than line breaks. This is a good piece, but really not for this forum. ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
I really enjoyed this piece;it is not prose though,and would best be served moved to open poetry. Love the work . Jenny  ------------------ Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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