Open Poetry #1 |
******Aaahh :) |
poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
.........To touch the heart of another .........Is the same as giving a piece of .........your soul to a begger on the street - .........It's meaningful just for a moment... .........Then fades like a summer STAR.......***** ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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© Copyright 1999 Gennifer David - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
If you mean what your words say, then this is a good poem. If you mean what I read, then this is one of the most subtle and delightful poems I've enjoyed in quite some time. Perhaps you would be kind enough to elaborate on your intent? |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I have a goal...to reach out to at least 1 person a day, and make a difference in their day....even if it's just a chuckle to lighten their mood....no matter what it takes, I'll do it. No matter how small a gesture, it's like feeding the hungry.....yet precious & beautiful all it's own. It's amazing to me how we affect & influence eachother in the smallest ways... Sorry it took me so long to answer your question, Ron....I'm curious as to what you read from this..??How far off am I ?? ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Your final two lines seem to suggest that the impact we have on others is transitory and fleeting, and therefore perhaps of little importance.
My earlier point was that if these closing lines were to be taken literally, then you have a good poem. It's not a message that everyone would find hopeful, but it's certainly a message artfully expressed. But I sensed a dichotomy between the tone of your opening lines and the seeming futility embodied in your close. You start out saying one thing, but then seem to say something else entirely. Or do you??? And that's what I meant by subtle and delightful. If your message is cynicism, then your simile is merely appropriate. But if your intent was to suggest the impact we have on others is enduring, then your comparison is both very powerful and very subtle. And quite delightful! A summer star does, after all, fade - but only from our mortal sight. It's still there, of course, even though we no longer see it. It is still affecting all other bodies of the Universe, still the center perhaps of a solar system and maybe even life. Indeed, in this physical Universe, that star is maybe the closest thing we can find to forever. And maybe, just maybe, the impact we have on other people - though often unseen - lasts much longer than many might think. [This message has been edited by Ron (edited 08-15-99).] |
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Terri Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 82Turtle Creek, PA |
Sheesh Femme, Ron is a tough act to follow...LOL! I hope my meager 'I thought it quite lovely' will suffice. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I'm in there with Ron, PFF. My impression was that of everlasting impact- though it fades from conciousness after only a brief time. If we can search our deepest thoughts, we would be surprised to discover the "small" events that have formed us into who we are. We have the ability to "forget" the summer star, while still being changed by it's impact. Truly, the more I read of you, PFF, the more I see you as a summer star, that never fades away (I HOPE!) ------------------ ...the things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice. -Billy Joel |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh Gosh Guys! You're all too kind...I'm glad you found such delight in this little piece....Yes Ron, I do strive to believe our impact lasts longer than we ever know....It's nice to see the appreciation for this thought of mine, flood forth.....thanks to each and every one of you! ***blushing*** ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
"I knew I loved you before I met you", Gennifer. This only proves that to me. God, I miss you. Michael |
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