Open Poetry #1 |
Why? |
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Behind those stark and sterile walls Nearby those antiseptic halls Beside that rhythmic bleeping screen -revealing truth in blips of green He breathed his last...there all alone No sould around...there on his own No special one to stay...to wait At journey's end near heaven's gate. Was there an anguished moment there When tear-filled eyes were full aware That not a soul had stayed the night -save silent strangers clad in white No special one to hold his hand; Was there a fight to understand The why of this forsaken fate At journey's end near heaven's gate? And as his lamp began to fade His faithfulness...was not repaid. More loyalty's not been displayed Than by this soul...who'd sure have stayed. Personal note: Im memory of my Dad who passed away while on vacation in Florida. He was left there all alone by someone who should have stayed with him until the end. Dad, you of all people deserved so much more. I'll miss you and love you forever. |
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© Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
d, you're right. nobody should have to die alone. what a tragedy. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Yes, Tara, a sad way for such a wonderful guy to have to face the end. It's something that I think I will never get over. And I'll probably never look at people in the same way again. When you totally trust someone and they so shockingly let you down like this, how can you ever totally trust someone again? Thank you for your sympathy. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
To anyone who questions why poets rhyme....this poem is the answer. You are brilliant. Thank you for your work. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you Balladeer. I don't think I've ever been called brilliant before! I'm glad that you liked this one. It's very special to me. Thanks again. ------------------ Denise |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I sympathize ... but, I am sure your father knew how you loved him even then, and that knowledge no doubt eased his journey ... this was a beautiful poem and tribute. ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Your poem touched me deeply (please go to the Prose Forum and read "Angel of Death"). I don't think anyone dies alone..perhaps no living person is there, but they are not alone. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You're right Nochtdraco, I never thought of that. What a comforting thought. Thank you so much for your insight! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Poet deVine, I'll do that! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Poet deVine, I'll do that! |
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Kelly Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 145 |
I'm sorry. That must have been hard. Excellent poem. Thanks for sharing it. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Seen from the shadows through windows shut fast the future is veiled in the mists of the past but eyes that can see with a faith big and bold look through the clouds to horizons of gold... Big wraparound HUGS to you.. ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I am sorry to hear of this! I agree with deVine there in no-one is alone! Great poem, thank you for sharing with us! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Excellent poem... But no one who is truly loved is ever completely alone... love is enhanced by togetherness, but it doesn't disappear when no one's around... it surrounds you, envelopes you and offers comfort even when those who love you aren't near. Your poem makes it clear that your dad was much loved... and I'm sure he felt that love. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you Kelly,RainbowGirl,WhtDove and Suthern for your insight and comfort and for taking the time to read and comment! HUGGS!! ------------------ Denise |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Wow, Denise, I'm so sorry-it must have been so hard on you. I agree that someone who is loved is only physically alone and not any other way. Still, it must have been so hard to have that idea within you. Thank you so much for sharing this poem with us. I liked the rhyme and flow-they can only improve a poem. The hospital is described quite well in the first two lines-all right, I'll quit rambling. Love, ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." [This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 08-30-99).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you Elizabeth for the kind comments. I'm glad that you liked it. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
how painful...I share it with you |
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