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Open Poetry #1
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 1999-08-25 06:58 AM


Spilled Purse

As I walked through the gardens
Of this secluded neighbourhood park
I suddenly glimpse a spilled purse
As the day becomes dark

Slowly I walk to it and wonder why it's there
I look inside to find
The cutest teddy bear
Was it forgotten
Was it stolen
Darn, why do I care ?

But this child is probably sobbing
Crying and hissing
Cause, her teddy bear she is missing
I suppose I'd better do the right thing
And give the local paper a ring

I'm glad I found this spilled purse
Cause that child will no longer be in despair
Cause when tomorrow comes
She'll have her teddy bear

© Copyright 1999 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 1999-08-25 07:41 AM


I missed seeing the challenge... but I'm enjoying the responses!
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
2 posted 1999-08-25 07:46 AM


Angel.....this was superb!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 1999-08-25 08:57 AM


Dark Angel,
Enjoyable read.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 1999-08-25 09:20 AM


Gosh! You finished it quickly! Very good! I was surprised that you chose a teddy bear, but it was very good.

By the way, the challenge was to write a poem focused on one object. A purse (handbag) that lay open someplace is an object. The focus of the poem became an object within that bag...DarkAngel could have chosen anything that was 'spilled'... some things like lipstick, money, keys would be something you'd expect to see. Her challenge was to write about something one doesn't ordinarily see in a bag! She did a good job!

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
5 posted 1999-08-25 01:02 PM


You certainly wouldn't see a teddy bear often in a bag. Good job!!!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 1999-08-25 05:10 PM


Thanks Suthern,Toerag Seymour WhtDove and PoetdeVine.

Poet, now that you've pointed it out, I realise that the focus should've been the purse/handbag, instead I opted for what was inside hmmmmm well I guess thats where I flunked in English lol.The teddy bear came into mind and would not leave hehe. Anyway I enjoyed writing it and thanks again. :-))

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 1999-08-25 05:55 PM


NO! Dear, you did the right thing as we discussed! You took an object and focused on a small part of it......it was perfect!
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
8 posted 1999-08-25 08:53 PM


How unexpected, Dark Angel. I'm glad the child got her teddy back-sweet!

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

miriam
Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323
glendale,ca.
9 posted 1999-08-26 02:32 PM


i was reading your poem with a friend and came up this conclusion: there's an inner child in you! One that loves to share and takes great pleasure in seeing others happy. By returning the teddy bear you stopped a heart from crying.
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