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LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 1999-08-23 09:51 PM

I heard the Angels singing sweetly
The day you came into my heart.
My ears weren’t just ringing,
I could swear it was singing,
For the lyrics danced in the air.

Swept off my feet and climbing steeply,
I was delirious with joy from the start.
I was soaring in the clouds,
With angels singing loud,
My forever I placed in your care.

I fell for you deeply and indiscreetly,
I couldn’t imagine us being apart.
Although I heard laughter,
Coming from the hereafter,
I thought it was the angels, I swear.

When you left you crushed me completely,
You turned my world of light into dark.
Singing angels are gone,
Now the silence lives on,
And my life is now filled with despair.

I’ve learned each of my lessons meekly,
You taught me well while enjoying your lark.
This story’s lesson rings true,
When there’s singing for you,
Be sure its the Angels up there.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

1 posted 1999-08-23 09:59 PM

I like your story, especially the end.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

2 posted 1999-08-23 10:05 PM

This one tugs at the heartstrings. I get sick and tired of seeing poor, little, mousy guys like you always being treated this way by real women. Hang in there, John. Some day there will be a woman who will not step on you and squash you like a bug....not!

(by the way, the poem is EXCELLENT!)

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

3 posted 1999-08-23 10:38 PM

That's ok 'Deer...I get stepped on by guys too. So why not get stepped on by a deer?

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

4 posted 1999-08-23 10:48 PM

Then let me at least say that your rhyme scheme of ABCCD carried throughout the poem is unique to me and is a monumental achievement in my book....very impressive.

Delores Hall
Member

since 1999-07-16

Posts 342
USA

5 posted 1999-08-23 11:53 PM

Enjoyed your poem.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

6 posted 1999-08-23 11:55 PM

Maybe it wasn't Angels singing! Were you in KMart? Was the song "blue light special"?

Love your poem, you do have a way with words..your lady is very lucky!

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

7 posted 1999-08-23 11:59 PM

I'd tell you I'm sorry about what happened, but that is such a wimpy word and it doesn't begin to express the way I am feeling. I am angry at this woman! Like Balladeer, I am sick of seeing women walk on men (maybe you should read my poem "The Temptress"). They make me sick and I hope they get what is coming to them.

Sorry-didn't mean to ramble. I like the rhyme scheme. You don't see this kind too often. Congrats on being able to carry it all through the poem. Good Luck.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

8 posted 1999-08-24 12:38 PM

Very unique rhyme scheme, I enjoyed it!! Wonderful work all around!!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

I see the world through the loving eyes of my heart, and suffer the pain of unfulfilled visions. -- Daniel L. Miller

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 1999-08-24 09:59 AM

LJA: Am I too late to step on you, too? *G* Darn my lousy timing!!! (But kudos to your poem! *S*)

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 1999-08-24 01:32 PM

LJA

I've posted my response to this wonderful work on the Forum. I hope you enjoy it.
Great work, wise one!

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 08-24-99).]

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

11 posted 1999-08-26 12:48 PM

Thank you one and all - this really didn't happen to me (very often). In writing the poem I was more interested in the rhyme scheme (as that devilishly clever Balladeer noted) than I was in writing about a first person experience. BTW - a woman walking all over me? oh, Heavens, YES! Please? with heels, too?

deVine and Belle - are you two from the same sorority? lol - I loved your comments.

Sunshine girl - posted your comments on the forum? Oh, geeze - where is the forum? I haven't a clue. I'll go browsing. thanks for your kudos.

Talon
Junior Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 33
Los Angeles

12 posted 1999-08-26 01:17 PM

Same thing hit me - the rhyming! After reading the first stanza it all comes into play. Very nicely written Long John

tori
Senior Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA

13 posted 1999-08-26 01:51 PM

Very nice work LngJhnAg great story

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

14 posted 2004-04-17 02:31 PM

ah...the good oldies

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