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Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

0 posted 1999-08-22 01:27 AM

Wandering through the paths of my melancholy soul,
Embracing the eternal vision of which only I know.
Candlelit heaven's grace this world from overhead,
The flickering light speaking volumes, yet so much unsaid.

The wisdom of forever resides within the hearts of few,
Through the journey of understanding that is found in no pew.
To soar with the angels, one must first grow ethereal wings,
And truly understand the pain that love sometimes brings.

Through the wandering of my melancholy soul, I begin to realize,
That through one's own self is the way to love's expanding skies.
Dance within the fragrant blooming gardens of your secret dreams,
And understand that the path to peace is not always as it seems.

Times one must wade through forests of ignorance, poison fed with lies,
But sometimes lasting happiness is hidden within a clever disguise.
If you wander into the depths of your quiet, melancholy soul,
You'll find your peace, the eternal vision of which I know.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

1 posted 1999-08-22 01:44 AM

I liked this, but was a little confused. Was it your intent to bounce from "happy" to "sad" phrase???

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Everyone has a photographic memory...
...most of us just don't have film!

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

2 posted 1999-08-22 01:53 AM

Yes, that was my intent, I'm glad you picked up on that. I wanted to somehow portray that when soulsearching, you've got to take the good with the bad. If you are still confused, then is there any way I could improve? I like this, but I think it could be better. Any comments would be much appreciated!!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

3 posted 1999-08-22 10:34 AM

Alwye, I love it, its so deep and so true

pen of passion
Member

since 1999-08-11

Posts 234

4 posted 1999-08-22 10:42 AM

It was a great poem, but I agree with Christopher the theme needs clearing.

Misty Rayne
New Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 8
Dassel,Minn.,USA

5 posted 1999-08-25 07:35 PM

Hi,Hon....It is so very nice....how I love your poetry and your continual growth!

I,personally,would check out a complete Thesaurus for more words for "melancholy".I would not repeat this word if I could find others as powerful. The word is powerful enough to stand once.

Keep up the fantastic work!!

Misty Rayne.

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