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Open Poetry #1

goodbye ocean

mia
Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 118

0 posted 1999-08-20 09:28 PM

My backyard
is full of tears
as the sky
keeps crying the ocean
my parents built
a new deck
behind my house
and I can sit for an hour
pondering on myself
selfish motives
I must leave
because I have always wanted here
to be there
somewhere other than this place
I keep coming back to
to drink the ocean
of tears
that the sky cries
as I let go
once more
of what might've been
if I would've stayed
So...
goodbye ocean
I give you the finger
I'll be back next summer
to drown myself once more
in your deepness
in your blue...

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

1 posted 1999-08-20 10:11 PM

After 3 readings, the complexity of this piece comes to me. This is very well written, mia.

Alain DeLaCendres
Member

since 1999-07-02

Posts 119
Ohio

2 posted 1999-08-20 10:42 PM

This definately commands attention, I had to read it at least four times. Not because it was confusing, it was great. Hhhmm..I'm probably not making sense..This has so many emotions wven into it..it's amazing.

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Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.

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