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Open Poetry #1

The Concrete Jungle

Cam
New Member

since 1999-08-19

Posts 2
Auckland, New Zealand

0 posted 1999-08-19 06:31 AM

There lies a jungle of twisted bone
Whose roots suck dry the drying earth
Writhing spires pierce the dust choked sky
Heaven wails as clouds give way
To a storm of tears that blister and burn

And in this jungle's darkened heart
An army of laborers curse and shake
To build a glistening tower of a thousand jewels
A silent God of ensorcelled gold

As the sickened sun whimpers and dies
A thousand fires haunt the dark
Whose frozen embrace chills and echoes
But a promised warmth of cold false light

Ages from now there are those that will ponder
What strange beasts lurked admidst this place
Who wrought great palaces of blackened steel
Yet left of themselves no hint nor trace

Sue
Member

since 1999-08-04

Posts 383
France

1 posted 1999-08-19 07:28 AM

Very powerful, some beautiful descriptive phrases. I particularly like "As the sickened sun whimpers and dies"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 1999-08-19 09:31 AM

Cam I agree with Sue. good job.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 1999-08-19 09:34 AM

Very good! Great imagery! Welcome to the family!

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