Open Poetry #1 |
Ressurrection |
DarkChiild Junior Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 18 |
In the recent past I broke up with my gf of 3 years. Ressurrection ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I thought it would never die the inferno of dancing flame yet now where there was once a heart smoldering charcoal does remain The water that was once so pure that reflected a soul of gold now reflect the stranger of a soul already sold Slowly you sucked out all the color and left me here in grey you have me hope then stole it and left me to decay But the ressurrection takes me lifts me from the dirt and I embrace it all though still I remember all the hurt So I hold her to my heart and try to drown the pain the coal has met it's match for the flame does dance again So I begin my descent anew invite the agony yet to come enjoying every moment with the words "I love you" on my tounge. ------------------ Wish in one hand, then shit in the other and see which one fills up first. --DarkChiild-- |
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© Copyright 1999 DarkChiild - All Rights Reserved | |||
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
And so you come full circle. Love - pain - love. Good poem, but I don't like your signature line...just a personal preference. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Yes, I agree. It was a good poem! I liked the "sucked out all the color." That really added some emphasis. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I have to agree totally with deVine on this one - both on the poem and on the signature. Would you kindly consider changing that? |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
This poem is unique and brings a great rhythm across great job! |
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