Open Poetry #1 |
Life's Story |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Where is the gift of life promised me, the gift of fulfilment bequeathed me? Gone the whisper of my mother's voice as she promises over my new born body Gone the crisp summer leaves as I begin my tentative autumn breaths of life Gone the unsullied pages of experience, fresh lines without a story Gone the soft breeze blowing not a shred of fear into my heart I cannot breathe without doubt or walk surely along faith's path I cannot feel freely or know a love of purity I cannot rest in security or live in child-innocence again I cannot erase the kiss of Awareness from my lips now forever Knowing will shape the writings of my time For one touch of lost innocence I would feel the breath of new life upon my written soul (1996) ------------------ 'Only the shallow know themselves.' Oscar Wilde. |
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© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Once again, please tolerate this decision of mine: this isn't going down, it's going up! This was written three years ago? Tsk, tsk.. I was never a constant writer. Always unpredictable, always changing styles... but let's see. This is soooooooo good! And it also applies to how things come in for me. Memories forgotten. First experiences forgotten. And while we write, a small spark is lit where those thoughts crash home, but never seem to come out the way you want to. Are you trying to point out that the best time to capture feelings in our "writings" is when we experience things instantly, such as for the first time? Very delicate, no words could express it better. How did you ever do this? (edit)The moron (me!). I looked to see what the title was as I wrote this, and only saw 'post' so I assumed that was the title. It happened again (first time, didn't look at title.. this time, got the title wrong!). Ok.. Life's Story? Anything to experience life again would be beautiful. Beautiful, indeed. You got another fresh response above. *blushes red* (/edit) [This message has been edited by Artur Hawkwing (edited 08-17-99).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I hope this isn't really how you feel Severn, it's so sad. I see your demons ------------------ It's so cool, it's so swell, living here on Ice Planet hell! -Psychotica- |
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Terri Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 82Turtle Creek, PA |
Such a sensation of loss...people often say 'if I only knew then what I know now' but as for me--no way. Sometimes I long for the days when I knew absolutely nothing..LOL!I feel fortunate to have small children, that I may revel vicariously in their innocence. |
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moonmoon Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 277TX , USA |
That was a real good piece Tavern...& to see that it stayed in your closet for so long..!! Most of the time, growing older & wiser is a good thing..."Many a times, I look back, & mourn for the person I used to be...!!" But, like Terri said,sometimes,I too mourn for the innocense lost...!! A very well said poem... ------------------ "No one was ever ruined from without; The final ruin comes from within." Amelia E. Barr |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Severn So... Do you really have the gift to see, Your written pages still yet to come? Are those pages already filled, not clean? Do you already know things you've not done? Life is a menu, you may dine or fast, The choice and the price are left to you. Regret is a feast prepared by the Past, But the menu has Hope for the future, too. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh Severn, this truly is a wonderful writing, I love the way your style of writing the stanzas changed, but yet they still moved friendly down the page....Hey, by the way, as soon as I get some free time, probably this evening, I'll be writing you back .....haven't forgotten ya, my dear!! **kisses** ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Severn, I am touched by your style and wit and wish there was a button you could hit. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow- Bounce! (An expression I use to indicate extreme happiness) Artur, my friend, let me confide to you a little secret: I thought of the title in two seconds flat; it was originally entitled 'Untitled'! but I thought it was too boring, so it may as well have been called 'Post'. How did I do it? As I recall it took about 10 minutes - it just went splat on the page. Your praise is so important to me, thankyou.(And your fresh approaches... (smile!)) Christopher: Thanks! Sometimes it is indeed how I feel. (Notice I used Autumn, not Fall See you in Prose) Terri, moonmoon, and LngJhnAg (you need to explain that to me!) Thanks for your comments - they mean a lot to me. Pff - It's time for me to read you now! Can't to hear from you! Seymour - I guess you'll just have to provide the buttons then! |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
This poem was well-written. It brought back memories of my lost innocence. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thanks pen of passion - and welcome! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Another glance with perhaps a better response! I said that I hoped you didn't feel that way... but that would be like asking a duck not to walk like a duck. Of course innocence is far gone, buried int he past (I am not accepting that it ever trulyexisted, just the implications of it did.) However, I want to ask how you feel about this piece now, with the (hehe) recent events of your life being what they are. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
In all honesty dear, this was written for the loss of my mother (the emotional-orphan syndrome thing), but if you apply it to life NOW and in general then I would have to say that I have no desire at all to wipe any of my pages - and I'm just loving writing new ones with you! |
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