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Open Poetry #1

Can You See?

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

0 posted 1999-08-16 11:38 AM

Can You See?

Can you see the mountains
in my soul?
The limitless oceans
in my heart?
Can you feel the butterflies
in my stomach,
as alone you do depart.

I climb these mountains
knowing you'll be there
to catch me,
if I happen to fall.
I sail these oceans
using our love,
as the vessel
to calm the tide.
I get these butterflies
at the times
that you can't see,
how your selfishness
buries me.

[This message has been edited by Lost Dreamer (edited 08-16-99).]

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite

since 1999-07-25

Posts 2646
Arkansas

1 posted 1999-08-17 11:31 AM

Very nice thought went into this....I like how it formed it's own little story......I'm sending this one back up.....keep writing!

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

2 posted 1999-08-17 10:45 PM

poetFemmeFatale: Thank-You for your response, glad you liked it.

Carolina Girl
Member

since 1999-08-14

Posts 63

3 posted 1999-08-17 10:47 PM

Very nice! I'm a nature lover...ocean, mountains...everything! Your words flowed wonderfully!

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

4 posted 1999-08-17 10:54 PM

I can't see the mountains, but I sure do feel the fireflies.. (oops.. butterflys) hehehe..

Love em.. and your poem..!

------------------
Kay-lynn
**A dream is a wish your heart makes :)

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