Waking Dreams - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #1

Waking Dreams

Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 1999-08-13 11:40 AM

I travel to the depths
...In search of my tomorrow,
Seeking dispensation,
...Relief from endless sorrow,
Thy speak of medication,
...Solution to soul's pain,
False god's I have consulted,
...Illusions still remain.
The valley it is somber,
...My sanity its toll,
Etched upon my soul within,
...Doth Thanatos inscroll,
I climb upon the ladder,
...Gateway to the mind,
Each rung doth carry lower,
...What hath the god's divined?
Previously I've entered,
...The void of silent screams,
Now I'm lost forever,
...Within my waking dreams.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 1999-08-13 11:47 AM

Wow! You are getting better and better at this my friend. Perhaps you should do your summations in poetic verse!? This is one of your best, Tim. Lovely phrases - lost within my waking dreams - perfect!

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

2 posted 1999-08-13 04:17 PM

I like it a lot. I would like it more without "the valley it is somber" and the two "doth"s, but it is still well done.

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

3 posted 1999-08-14 08:31 AM

I love it - especially the rungs of the ladder carrying the reader lower.....
Awesome....

------------------
Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done:
For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits,
Than I am sure I have in my whole five.
~ ²1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

4 posted 1999-08-14 08:54 PM

lovely *curtsies*

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.