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When a Heart Breaks Alone
| Open Poetry #1 |
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When a Heart Breaks Alone |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN 
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still not happy with it. Remember the first time you fell? There was noone in sight nobody to tell you could feel your heart hit the ground but when a heart breaks alone does it make a sound? Like the sound of crying babys sobbing themselves to sleep Like the weight of the world falling at your feet The never ending echo of the beating and the pound When a heart breaks alone does it make a sound? Can't they see I'm hiding I don't hear a word they say They just keep talking and laughing and acting like I'm ok They don't hear the noise I hear but it's always around When a heart breaks alone does it make a sound? ------------------ Kay-lynn **A dream is a wish your heart makes  [This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-13-99).] [This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-14-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 redwriter1 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
I love it, what about it aren't you satisfied with? |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
maybe I'm just pushing it... mmm don't know.. ------------------ Kay-lynn **A dream is a wish your heart makes [This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-13-99).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Does it make a small explosion You'd think anyone could hear Like waves crashing in the ocean Or the falling of a tear... Will it wake the world from slumber Or, in silence, is it bound? When a heart breaks alone Does it make a sound? [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 08-13-99).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I wouldn't want to offer actual verses, because I'm more of a free verse girl, but topics I can do. Balladeer got to my idea of the ocean first (not a gripe!!!) but perhaps you could work wind, laments (funereal) or the lonely cry of birds in somehow. I like it, what you have already, by the way. |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Your suffering need not be witnessed for it to make a sound. In today's crazy world hearts are breaking all around. Can you hear the pulsing when your heart beats alone? The strength in its desire, The timber of its tone? It screams to be heard but it needn't shout Love, at its best, is a whisper Tenderness is what it's about. To answer your question, of when a heart breaks alone Yes, it can be heard as a soft cry, a pitiful moan. Your pain is so obvious to those of us who see. I can hear your heart breaking, it's speaking to me. |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
Wow.. tara.. that was great!!... wheww.. how do you guys do that?? ahhaha.. Your reply.. will be saved in my favorite folder.. thank you.. [This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-17-99).] |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
red, you inspired me with yours! i love the idea behind it, run with it! |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
Still working on this after all this time. geesh.. I guess I just don't know when to quit. Kay-lynn **A dream is a wish your heart makes :) |
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