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Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 1999-08-12 10:53 AM

Farewell my love, as you depart
Remember kindly in thy heart,
A summer's eve, a moonlit sky,
A kiss that's stolen on the sly,
As we walked your hand in mine
And I whispered, I am thine.

Farewell my love, as you depart
Remember kindly in thy heart,
A tender kiss upon the brow,
My love to thee I did avow,
As with a book, a tale must close,
But pressed within eternal rose.

Farewell my love, as you depart,
Remember kindly in thy heart,
That though you've left, you shall remain,
Forevermore, I'll be thy swain,
For you have touched, nay stole my heart,
Farewell my love, as you depart.

[This message has been edited by Tim (edited 08-12-99).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 1999-08-12 10:56 AM

Ah HA! Caught you playing at work. Fine Poem, Tim, and I would make only one suggestion [if a lowly para may]

Third stanza, fifth line

"For you have touched, nay, stole my heart,"

and that would be the only suggestion to an otherwise wonderful poem.

------------------
© KRJ
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 1999-08-12 11:06 AM

A romantic lawyer? Yes, there is such a thing and we have him! Lovely poem Tim. Mrs. Tim is a lucky lady.

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

3 posted 1999-08-12 05:52 PM

very romantic *sigh* ...enjoyed the lingo as well

Delores Hall
Member

since 1999-07-16

Posts 342
USA

4 posted 1999-08-13 12:31 PM

Enjoyed your poem.

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

5 posted 2007-06-10 06:13 PM

... And still beautiful ...
Very beautiful

Alison

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2007-11-12 09:07 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

mein or meree thanhai
Junior Member

since 2009-02-01

Posts 21

7 posted 2009-02-01 08:26 PM

hei..., how cute this words....!! its the poem of heart...., the pain of pure heart. feels like breez in mind....,
lov this words....n i ll keep it inside my heart..., deep deep heart.....

Boshii2
Member

since 2009-02-01

Posts 146

8 posted 2009-02-01 08:33 PM

ooooh yes that is what I wanted to say ,mein or meree thanhai.....

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