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Birgitte
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Birgitte |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Birgitte Birgitte, fair yellow-golden braid swung back, poised for fate's mark as the sun shone on the grass; she was heroine of legend and story, never missing her mark, the perfect archer, when one day Valan Luca said what a "fair" shot he was with bow and arrow, so Birgitte said, "Are you afraid, pretty man? We can make your side a silver penny." In reply Luca hissed, "I will get my bow!" A quiver was placed before Birgitte, but she weighted and scaled each arrow, ending up with four balanced arrows. Astonishment and wonder filled Luca's face. The archer rose her face without word, raised her bow and 'round her night was the day- as it all began, the shadows rolled under her foot, her hair was sunlit gold, a vision of the heavens, as heroine and legend became reality; the silver bow and silver arrows she shot- the arrow made no sound against the wind, and first arrow struck against the red circle's center- from the quiver she plucked a second, and just as swift and deadly the second flew right next to the first arrow before it stopped quivering; the audience stood gaping in silence, as Birgitte took out the third of her four quivers, and whish! the third flew splitting the first; how the silence was thunderous, and Elayne, Daughter-heir of Andor shook, like fair maiden of those ol' days; now, Birgitte hardly paused to release the fourth, and it flew a slow but sure flow in the air, deadly aimed to the second arrow thus splitting it. Identity finally revealed, golden hair shining, Luca gasped and said, "Not knives! Arrows! From a hundred pace!" But Birgitte simply said to Luca, "Our wager?" So Luca tossed her a gold coin, but she said, "The bet was a silver penny on your part." [This message has been edited by Artur Hawkwing (edited 08-12-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Artur Hawkwing - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You've done Robert Jordan proud......  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Good storytelling in your poem! I really like the woman-warrior concept since we ladies are supposed to be the 'weaker' sex!  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh shoot! [pun] Now you've made me want to pick up Jordan's book for what must be a fantastic read! I'll never get any more poems or prose written now! ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Ah ladies, thank you. Nan- I agree, I can see his face beaming in pride. DeVine- I know it's a great concept, the woman-warrior concept, so let that defend women's honor. MHO is there's no such thing as a 'weaker' sex, all have differences. Sunshine- Gee, you're asking for about 7,500 pages worth of reading. Are you ready? |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You know, I'm ashamed to admit I gave up on Jordan. Isn't that shocking?! Great poem - almost feel like I have to give the books another try...almost. I love the way you weave a story with dialogue into a poem, and I particularly like: 'the shadows rolled under her foot her hair was sunlit gold, a vision of the heavens' Very very nice. (thanks for your comments on my negelected poems!) |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Severn- You've done me proud with your own words. But giving up on Jordan ~widens eyes in disbelief~ ... hmm ... I wonder why? Was the book too long? Something like that? I wish for more people to tell me which lines they enjoy most in my poems. You've done me a service. ~bows~ |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Why thankyou! Um, I read the first half of book one and kind of got bored to tears. SHOCK HORROR! But that was a few years ago. I may try again...when I have time. I'm a huge (HUGE) fantasy fan. (My two best friends and I are modestly writing our own novels - hence my user name, a character from my book), so I owe it to my desperate desire to be published to read Jordan, I suppose! (Yeah - when I finish the bleep thing!) You know - your poem would be a good frontspiece for one of his books or on a website. |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
You know, with you being on at the same time, this sure is funny. Very, very nice idea, having it as a frontspiece ~considers it~... but, I'm a growing poet with growing talents, and I would be white to the face if he decided mine were good enough to do that! As for website, I'm considering it. Two of my best friends (isn't this pure coincidence?) and I are going to make a website and I will monitor the poetry section... I might as well post Birgitte there! I'm a HUGE fantasy fan ~ that's why Birgitte is here at all! Thank you, my friend! [This message has been edited by Artur Hawkwing (edited 08-13-99).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hi again - well I'm actually just leaving now, so I thought I'd write one more thing - post more so I can read more! OK? |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh - that is a coincidence! Great to have cool friends with the same passions isn't it? Better than talking gossip all the time...! |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Thanks for shining some light into my day already (it's midnight here)! Now I think I look forward to posting some more. But for now, I am hopelessly between those two: quote: And with Jordan's books, those pages take weeks, even months, to read! But hey! I'll write...! If you want to discuss something, or just talk, you're always welcome to email me! [This message has been edited by Artur Hawkwing (edited 08-13-99).] |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
I'm hard-pressed for some comments.... any more? On the poem? This is to every fellow poet, please? |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wonderful!! Being an archer myself, a lover of such stories as the one in this poem, and a die hard fan of the warrior woman concept, this was truly a great piece!! ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Why, thank you, Alwye. I think I'm headed to being an archer myself as well. My friends are trying to drag me into the archery team..! Maybe with time they'll succeed? Hey, I'm onto Ulysses next! |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Well, here's my 2 cents on archery - I think it's the sexiest sport of them all ! You get you a bow Artur, and I'll chase you around the park ! ~steamy grin~ As for this piece of yours, I'll agree with Alwye...(her & I think alot alike) I love the whole maiden routine! I was her in another life! HE HE HE ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet [This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 08-13-99).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Artur, a short epic and so well done. I'm begining to feel like I'm sitting in the balcony listening to all the talent down below. |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
FemmeFatale~ hoo-boy! Scary thought... 'specially on Friday the 13th. ~beams~ many regards to you and Alwye... Seymour~ A high honor to have heard words like those coming from you. Thank you....! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
BRAVO! BRAVO! excellent piece.... who the hell is robert jordan? jk |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
I like the epic tale...and shamefully admit I know naught of Jordan (oops!!!) Still, I admire your work....though, I don't know that I'm up for a 7,500 page series here..LOL |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
If women are the weaker sex... Why are they always in charge??? ------------------ ...the things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice. -Billy Joel |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Doreen~ I do not know who he is, on the other hand, but I would like to find out! I love this love this love this book! Sally~ ~embarassed face~ The length isn't so bad as long as you start at the beginning and find that your curiosity has been keeping you up past your bedtime every night. A journey begins with a single step, anyways... Christopher~ HA HA~ good one! But unfortunately to say, ~with a little twitch in his smile~ women have a difficult time being in charge around me. I have luck on my side, real pure, impossible luck. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
HI A H - thought I'd stick this up for you, just incase you wanted more comments to add to the collection!!!!(Smile) |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Severn- I haven't been around to reply to things in about two days. But I saw what you did, right above this reply, and that is so sweet!! It means a lot! Keep smiling! [This message has been edited by Artur Hawkwing (edited 08-16-99).] |
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