Open Poetry #1 |
Dawn's Trance |
JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Waking early, to morning's gray. steely clouds, threaten this day. Birdsong lilting, in swaying trees. Rustled by fingers, of burgeoning breeze. Sit here quietly, watching dawn's ebb. Through silvery lace, of black spider's web. I rouse from my trance, and rise to my feet. Morning's reverie, short, but oh so sweet. Dum spiro, spero JP |
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© Copyright 1999 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
JP- your writing flows just like that breeze. I felt as if I were a child again watching a storm come in on my grandfathers dock. Simply beautiful. blueloon |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You are an artist. Thank you. ------------------ © KRJ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
Beautiful, the flow is perfect. I truly enjoyed this poem. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Dawn is indeed the very most splendiferous time of day.... Nice one, JP... ------------------ Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done: For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits, Than I am sure I have in my whole five. ~ ²1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75 |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Dawn is indeed the very most splendiferous time of day.... Nice one, JP... ------------------ Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done: For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits, Than I am sure I have in my whole five. ~ ²1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75 |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Beautiful..yes, your words do indeed flow exquisitely. Great work. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "Your kiss upon my face feels like a brush with grace, baby thats all it takes to take me higher..." SHeDaisy |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
dang! with all this praise I might just start writing more... y'all make be blush... ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well, blush some more, 'cause I thought this was be-oot-i-ful! |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Simply beautiful. ------------------ "Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain* |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
the only time i ever get to see a sunrise is when i've been up all night...cursed insomnia ------------------ one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...your countenance...eight short weeks...My One and Only...Music to my Ears...hoarse whispers...What will it be?...just watching tv...break my heart...are you ready?...Feel the need?...serving wench...Tribute to M.J....take a guess...sink or swim...stolen hours...the mistress...Perfection...a little girl...Mr. Jones... life is like...insomnia...devotion...too soon...07-20-69...craving...Master...chat?...apart...plain...hush...then...vice...shameless self promotion [This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-11-99).] |
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Sue Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 383France |
These replies are becoming a bit repetitive, but I think 'beautiful' is the right word, so I'll say it too. Beautiful - I watched the dawn through your eyes. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
The dawn is lovely as described herein but I like the 'silvery lace, of black spider's web' the best! |
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angel girl Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322within a whisper... |
LOVELY IMAGERY, JP. YOUR DESCRIPTION OF DAWN WAS PERFECT. I USED TO THINK SUCH BEAUTY COULD NOT BE DESCRIBED WITH JUST WORDS, BUT YOU HAVE PROVED OTHER-WISE. ------------------ One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. -William Shakespeare |
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