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Open Poetry #1
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JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

0 posted 1999-08-10 11:58 AM


Waking early,
to morning's gray.
steely clouds,
threaten this day.

Birdsong lilting,
in swaying trees.
Rustled by fingers,
of burgeoning breeze.

Sit here quietly,
watching dawn's ebb.
Through silvery lace,
of black spider's web.

I rouse from my trance,
and rise to my feet.
Morning's reverie,
short, but oh so sweet.


Dum spiro, spero
JP

© Copyright 1999 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved
blueloon
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161
NY
1 posted 1999-08-10 12:30 PM


JP- your writing flows just like that breeze. I felt as if I were a child again watching a storm come in on my grandfathers dock. Simply beautiful.
blueloon

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 1999-08-10 12:34 PM


You are an artist. Thank you.

------------------
© KRJ
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
3 posted 1999-08-10 01:03 PM


Beautiful, the flow is perfect. I truly enjoyed this poem.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 1999-08-10 04:12 PM


Dawn is indeed the very most splendiferous time of day.... Nice one, JP...

------------------
Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done:
For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits,
Than I am sure I have in my whole five.
~ ²1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 1999-08-10 04:26 PM


Dawn is indeed the very most splendiferous time of day.... Nice one, JP...

------------------
Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done:
For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits,
Than I am sure I have in my whole five.
~ ²1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75



Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
6 posted 1999-08-10 04:45 PM


Beautiful..yes, your words do indeed flow exquisitely. Great work.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"Your kiss upon my face feels like a brush with grace, baby thats all it takes to take me higher..." SHeDaisy

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
7 posted 1999-08-10 05:42 PM


dang! with all this praise I might just start writing more... y'all make be blush...

------------------
Dum spiro, spero
JP


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 1999-08-11 01:14 AM


Well, blush some more, 'cause I thought this was be-oot-i-ful!
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
9 posted 1999-08-11 01:17 AM


Simply beautiful.

------------------
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain*

elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
10 posted 1999-08-11 04:35 AM


the only time i ever get to see a sunrise is when i've been up all night...cursed insomnia

------------------
one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...your countenance...eight short weeks...My One and Only...Music to my Ears...hoarse whispers...What will it be?...just watching tv...break my heart...are you ready?...Feel the need?...serving wench...Tribute to M.J....take a guess...sink or swim...stolen hours...the mistress...Perfection...a little girl...Mr. Jones...
life is like...insomnia...devotion...too soon...07-20-69...craving...Master...chat?...apart...plain...hush...then...vice...shameless self promotion




[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-11-99).]

Sue
Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 383
France
11 posted 1999-08-11 05:01 AM


These replies are becoming a bit repetitive, but I think 'beautiful' is the right word, so I'll say it too.
Beautiful - I watched the dawn through your eyes.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
12 posted 1999-08-11 09:03 PM


The dawn is lovely as described herein but I like the 'silvery lace, of black spider's web' the best!

angel girl
Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322
within a whisper...
13 posted 1999-08-12 07:14 AM


LOVELY IMAGERY, JP. YOUR DESCRIPTION OF DAWN WAS PERFECT. I USED TO THINK SUCH BEAUTY COULD NOT BE DESCRIBED WITH JUST WORDS, BUT YOU HAVE PROVED OTHER-WISE.

------------------
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.
-William Shakespeare


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