Looking for critques - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #1

Looking for critques

Lynx
New Member

since 1999-08-08

Posts 3
Monterey, TN USA

0 posted 1999-08-08 11:09 PM

Lynn Rising

When my eyes first glimpse
Through dim morning light
And wind chimes gently ring
In the brisk morning wind
Asking questions as well
As answering them

Your presence I see glowing
From rays of nightstand light
As finely draped morning seeps in
From gentle North Carolina mountains
Words of good morning
Breaks the silence in the air
As I ponder your presence
While reclining in your bed
Wondering myriad morning things
Upon a long nights peaceful sleep

Long glances, smiles and sleepy eyes
Surround the rainbow sheets
Until your morning paces
From kitchen to bathroom
And all the in-betweens

Slow sax playing soft
And as gentle as I feel
As I ponder if I shall
Leave this bed of sweet dreams
And stir from my slumbering
Or deeply dwell within this fantasy
That somehow became real

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

1 posted 1999-08-09 02:43 PM

if you are seeking constructive criticism, you may want to post your poem in the "critical analysis" forum...Welcome Lynx

------------------
I will live my life as i, will undoubtedly die - alone. ~Morrissey~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.