Open Poetry #1 |
Late Night Lament |
Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
Where does the night go? When all are asleep Why am I pacing the floor? The dark of the night so deep Another night lost For reasons unknown Time passes by And still I'm alone Where is it you've been? And why aren't you here Did something happen to you That’s always my biggest fear Are you hurt or bleeding somewhere? Out on the streets so late Or are you having fun, no cares And what's her name that you date In the light of the morning The sun high in the sky The pacing finally stops I'm so tired I could cry At last you walk in the door You're tired but smile when you see me You where supposed to be home at four Awww Mom let me be! ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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© Copyright 1999 Dragoness - All Rights Reserved | |||
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
man this poem is sooo true i only got little ones but i fret they will do this to mee good ending surprised me i like it! |
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
Thanks Walt....your turn will come! ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Hehe...I've been here more times than I care to remember. Nowadays, my parents just lock the doors at a certain hour, so if I'm not in on time, I get to sleep in my car. Style-wise, this one had a very conversational rhythm, but the meter jumped between 2 and 3 beats per line, with an odd 4 every now and then. Also there seems to be variant stresses, alternating between hard and soft with no clear pattern. But this is all structural stuff. Message-wise, I loved it. I've found myself doing the same pacing and fretting about my mom, from time to time. Oh, but they do get wild when they get older. Alicat |
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Gentle Soul Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273Vinton,Ohio USA |
Dragoness.. what a great poem.. you have no need to worry about how good this poem is.. I love it! ------------------ Gënt£ë¤§°û£ |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Dragoness... like you told Walt, my time will come as well... I only have little ones, but I KNOW they will do the same! Wonderful poem! ------------------ ~onevoice~ "She looked at her life like lines, never-ending, constantly forming, reforming and bending." |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Marvelous work, twin to my soul! ------------------ Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings? DreamEvil© |
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
Alicat-Thanks I'm trying to learn and I need all the help I can get! One Voice-you bet your time well come! Thanks! Gentle Soul- As always little Sister!!THanks Angel! Dream- your words mean the most.Thank-You brother of my heart! ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
i sometimes worry about my baby as well...all the boys in the neighborhood are after her...she is every tom cat's girlfriend (of course, she is fixed) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I'm w/you Elvira, I sometimes wonder if my chilli-cats could be worse than "real" children. (I swear they're more spoiled!) Nice poem Dragoness, but you've made me feel a tad guilty at the things that must've run through my parents heads! ------------------ Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. -Unknown- So let the sun beat down upon my face, It's warmth will dry my tears. |
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