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Dragoness
Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513


0 posted 1999-08-07 12:36 PM


Where does the night go?
When all are asleep
Why am I pacing the floor?
The dark of the night so deep

Another night lost
For reasons unknown
Time passes by
And still I'm alone

Where is it you've been?
And why aren't you here
Did something happen to you
That’s always my biggest fear

Are you hurt or bleeding somewhere?
Out on the streets so late
Or are you having fun, no cares
And what's her name that you date

In the light of the morning
The sun high in the sky
The pacing finally stops
I'm so tired I could cry

At last you walk in the door
You're tired but smile when you see me
You where supposed to be home at four
Awww Mom let me be!



------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

© Copyright 1999 Dragoness - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 1999-08-07 12:40 PM


man this poem is sooo true i only got little ones but i fret they will do this to mee good ending surprised me i like it!
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513

2 posted 1999-08-07 02:55 PM


Thanks Walt....your turn will come!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
3 posted 1999-08-07 03:16 PM


Hehe...I've been here more times than I care to remember. Nowadays, my parents just lock the doors at a certain hour, so if I'm not in on time, I get to sleep in my car.

Style-wise, this one had a very conversational rhythm, but the meter jumped between 2 and 3 beats per line, with an odd 4 every now and then. Also there seems to be variant stresses, alternating between hard and soft with no clear pattern. But this is all structural stuff.

Message-wise, I loved it. I've found myself doing the same pacing and fretting about my mom, from time to time. Oh, but they do get wild when they get older.


Alicat


Gentle Soul
Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273
Vinton,Ohio USA
4 posted 1999-08-08 12:25 PM


Dragoness.. what a great poem.. you have no need to worry about how good this poem is.. I love it!

------------------
Gënt£ë¤§°û£


~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
5 posted 1999-08-08 12:34 PM


Dragoness... like you told Walt, my time will come as well... I only have little ones, but I KNOW they will do the same! Wonderful poem!

------------------
~onevoice~

"She looked at her life
like lines, never-ending,
constantly forming,
reforming and bending."



DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

6 posted 1999-08-08 04:51 AM


Marvelous work, twin to my soul!

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©



Dragoness
Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513

7 posted 1999-08-08 10:18 AM


Alicat-Thanks I'm trying to learn and I need all the help I can get!
One Voice-you bet your time well come! Thanks!
Gentle Soul- As always little Sister!!THanks Angel!
Dream- your words mean the most.Thank-You brother of my heart!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
8 posted 1999-08-09 09:36 PM


i sometimes worry about my baby as well...all the boys in the neighborhood are after her...she is every tom cat's girlfriend (of course, she is fixed)
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
9 posted 1999-08-09 09:49 PM


I'm w/you Elvira, I sometimes wonder if my chilli-cats could be worse than "real" children. (I swear they're more spoiled!)
Nice poem Dragoness, but you've made me feel a tad guilty at the things that must've run through my parents heads!

------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.
-Unknown-
So let the sun beat down upon my face,
It's warmth will dry my tears.

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