Open Poetry #1 |
*This Dance* |
Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
As I sit here-lonely Without a friend in the world I look around and try to see If anyone else is alone As I look around all that I see Are couples here and couples there Dancing-oh so closely So I stand up And grab my jacket I turn to walk away If I'm here alone There is no reason to stay But as I near the door You come up to me You say "I saw you earlier, You're alone-or so it seems" As I look at you I notice something different That sparkle in your eyes Your beautiful, baby blue eyes You say "May I have this dance?" And I look at you and say "I'm sorry-I feel no need to dance." Your blue eyes stop sparkling As I walk out the doorway I know you're not like all the others I don't know why I said "no." I get in my car and leave I go and park two blocks away I sit in my car and cry I put the car back into drive And drive back to the club I walk in and look for you You're not there I ask around for you No one has seen anyone that looks like you So again I turn to leave But as i'm walking out the door you tap me on the shoulder I turn around and look at you Your eyes are sparkling again And once again you ask "May i have this dance?" I say yes "What a beautiful evening,"you whisper in my ear My reply is a smile You know what it means 'How wonderful it is to have someone to hold' I know this doesn't rhyme, but I really like it and I have always felt that A poem doesn't have to rhyme as long as you get the point across and the feelings out!~Lily ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories stay alive* [This message has been edited by Princess Lily (edited 08-05-99).] |
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© Copyright 1999 Princess Lily - All Rights Reserved | |||
Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
I'd really like your honest opinions on this poem.Please?Thank you!~Lily ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories stay alive* |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
My honest opinion, eh?? I think this is wonderful!!! I love the story line, how you (or whomever is the character in it) gets the second chance. It does seem like fate plays a role in such instances. Wonderful poem, my friend!! ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "Your kiss upon my face feels like a brush with grace, baby thats all it takes to take me higher..." SHeDaisy |
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Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
Yes my dear friend I wish that in every instance such as this one that we got second chances but we usually do not. It is so unfortunate that fate does not play a role in our lives everyday, but then again maybe it does and we do not realize it Thanx!!~Mel(friends have a way of creeping into your lives-if you know what i am referring to ) ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories survive* [This message has been edited by Princess Lily (edited 08-06-99).] |
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angel girl Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322within a whisper... |
Very nice, Lily |
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Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
Thank you very much Angel!~Lily ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories survive* |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Lily...I really liked the story line behind this and the idea of having a second chance. I though it was well written, but I would like to see the flow of it just a bit smoother ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
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Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
Hoot, Thank you for the reply and the honest opinion.I am actually working on this poem, but i am very busy lately and it is sometimes hard to find the right words to describe how you feel.Know what I mean? Thanx again!!~Lily ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories survive* |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
Lily, I thought this was a wonderful exapmle of recieving a second chance. There are to often far and few between. It touched me... blueloon |
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Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
Thank you, my dear, Blue.If I have touched at least one person I have done my duties as a poet ~Lily ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories survive* |
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JohnDoe82 Junior Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 42MO, USA |
What a beautiful poem and a beautiful thought. I wish we all got a second chance. :-) ((I haven't figured out how to make th cool smilely faces yet.)) |
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Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
press shift and colon then press shift and zero that is the smiley face.Thank you for the reply.I too wish that we all got a second chance. ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories survive* |
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