Strength, Survival & Surface Speech

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Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

0 posted 1999-08-05 12:47 PM

Series 1

STRENGTH

I stalk
like a cat with torn ears
through my territories

Fleeing memories
butterflies too nimble
for my paws

Were I to fall
would I land on my feet?
or would I sprawl
helpless on my back?
More of a beetle
than proud feline

I hunt
through my lands
evicting threat

Swallowing rodent fears

SURVIVAL

I am not a tortured soul
not even an angry one
You see
I walk my sorrows
lead them on a loving leash
I've learned to laugh
out loud
where others cry
and stay mute
when tears should turn
If-
and only if-
an ocean carresses my cheeks
then I lay to rest
my afflictions

But that is rare

SURFACE SPEECH

Happy is as shallow
as icing on a cake

It doesn't direct you
to the true degrees
of human love

I'd be lost
if I were ever
merely happy

and ecstatic is overrated
over-owned
by those claiming
to know about good sex

We're on a map
with no longitudes
or latitudes
and our empty words
send us adrift

Perhaps it is better
to leave happy silent
use ecstatic only
when we have climbed
beyond Everest

Perhaps
it is better
to say nothing
at all

KM, 6.3.99

------------------
'Only the shallow know themselves.' Oscar Wilde.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

1 posted 1999-08-10 12:26 PM

Can someone please, pretty please, tell me what they think?

Artur Hawkwing
Member

since 1999-06-30

Posts 444
USA

2 posted 1999-08-11 08:21 PM

not responded to? Well, this goes back on the top.

STRENGTH - I liked how you described there were two consequences, landing on front or back. Reminds me of "only the strong survive" and "watch your back". Well, if those rodents would only come out for cheese once in a while. That's strength = courage.

SURVIVE - Having a positive attitude is a good perspective for survival. I could visualize my swim coach as she quoth, "Smile! Good attitudes count!"

SURFACE SPEECH - I could almost believe the same morale lies within me, that pain goes before happiness. I admire your wise words, and this has some subliminal messages. I could never approve of an ignorant face. Never!

Now that you've said something, I appreciate the words! Great meaning to be found. I really look forward to reading more!

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

3 posted 1999-08-12 12:16 PM

Wow! What a great reply - one of the most thorough I've ever received, thanks so much!

Sue
Member

since 1999-08-04

Posts 383
France

4 posted 1999-08-12 02:35 AM

I liked it, particularly
"Fleeing memories
butterflies too nimble
for my paws"
I think that is a fantastic metaphor.

Seaangel
Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 167
Auckland, New Zealand

5 posted 1999-08-12 06:52 PM

wow, severn. I love the feline imagery, always had a thing about the savage cat myself. Empty words? A common feeling, I think, for everyone, or at least writers. If you know what you want to say you have at least that reference point.
A beautiful and sensuous poem.

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