Open Poetry #1 |
Strength, Survival & Surface Speech |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Series 1 STRENGTH I stalk like a cat with torn ears through my territories Fleeing memories butterflies too nimble for my paws Were I to fall would I land on my feet? or would I sprawl helpless on my back? More of a beetle than proud feline I hunt through my lands evicting threat Swallowing rodent fears SURVIVAL I am not a tortured soul not even an angry one You see I walk my sorrows lead them on a loving leash I've learned to laugh out loud where others cry and stay mute when tears should turn If- and only if- an ocean carresses my cheeks then I lay to rest my afflictions But that is rare SURFACE SPEECH Happy is as shallow as icing on a cake It doesn't direct you to the true degrees of human love I'd be lost if I were ever merely happy and ecstatic is overrated over-owned by those claiming to know about good sex We're on a map with no longitudes or latitudes and our empty words send us adrift Perhaps it is better to leave happy silent use ecstatic only when we have climbed beyond Everest Perhaps it is better to say nothing at all KM, 6.3.99 ------------------ 'Only the shallow know themselves.' Oscar Wilde. |
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© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Can someone please, pretty please, tell me what they think? |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
not responded to? Well, this goes back on the top. STRENGTH - I liked how you described there were two consequences, landing on front or back. Reminds me of "only the strong survive" and "watch your back". Well, if those rodents would only come out for cheese once in a while. That's strength = courage. SURVIVE - Having a positive attitude is a good perspective for survival. I could visualize my swim coach as she quoth, "Smile! Good attitudes count!" SURFACE SPEECH - I could almost believe the same morale lies within me, that pain goes before happiness. I admire your wise words, and this has some subliminal messages. I could never approve of an ignorant face. Never! Now that you've said something, I appreciate the words! Great meaning to be found. I really look forward to reading more! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow! What a great reply - one of the most thorough I've ever received, thanks so much! |
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Sue Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 383France |
I liked it, particularly "Fleeing memories butterflies too nimble for my paws" I think that is a fantastic metaphor. |
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Seaangel Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167Auckland, New Zealand |
wow, severn. I love the feline imagery, always had a thing about the savage cat myself. Empty words? A common feeling, I think, for everyone, or at least writers. If you know what you want to say you have at least that reference point. A beautiful and sensuous poem. |
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