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Open Poetry #1
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TSU325
Junior Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 11
Detroit, Michigan, USA

0 posted 1999-08-04 02:08 AM


I wanna be the woman,
You see when you are sleep.
I wanna be the woman,
who makes you feel so weak.
I wanna be the woman,
Who make you feel complete.
I wanna be the woman,
Who makes your passion rise,
I wanna be the woman,
You kiss between the thys.
I wanna be your everything,
And set your heart afire.
I wanna be the woman,
The one which you desire.

© Copyright 1999 TSU325 - All Rights Reserved
Augchic711
Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 80
O'Fallon, IL, USA
1 posted 1999-08-04 08:13 AM


This poem is so wonderful you captivate the total desire one has for a person and how much your heart just flows out to that person. I enjoyed reading your poetry and hope that you will continue to write. Thank you for sharing this with us.

*******Augchic711*******

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 1999-08-04 10:19 AM


This is a extreamly nice poem...a very good idea... be careful of the little mistakes though.....see what you think of this:

I wanna be the woman,
You see when you're asleep.
I wanna be the woman,
who makes you feel so weak.
(I wanna be the woman,
With kisses that you greet.)
I wanna be the woman,
Who makes you feel complete.
I wanna be the woman,
Who makes your passion rise,
I wanna be the woman,
You kiss between the thighs.
I wanna be your everything,
And set your heart afire.
I wanna be the woman,
The one which you desire.


------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

Cinderella
Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152
Arizona
3 posted 1999-08-04 10:37 AM


"Hoot" you did wonders, but the subject matter is what counts! I would love to be this woman and perhaps someday will be lucky enough to find "Mr. Right", or perhaps I have found him but don't know it? Thank you both.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 1999-08-04 10:39 AM


If he kissed ya once will he kiss ya again?....Be sure...with Pristine feminine hygiene spray!!!!!.....
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