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TSU325
Junior Member

since 1999-08-04

Posts 11
Detroit, Michigan, USA

0 posted 1999-08-04 02:08 AM

I wanna be the woman,
You see when you are sleep.
I wanna be the woman,
who makes you feel so weak.
I wanna be the woman,
Who make you feel complete.
I wanna be the woman,
Who makes your passion rise,
I wanna be the woman,
You kiss between the thys.
I wanna be your everything,
And set your heart afire.
I wanna be the woman,
The one which you desire.

Augchic711
Member

since 1999-06-17

Posts 80
O'Fallon, IL, USA

1 posted 1999-08-04 08:13 AM

This poem is so wonderful you captivate the total desire one has for a person and how much your heart just flows out to that person. I enjoyed reading your poetry and hope that you will continue to write. Thank you for sharing this with us.

*******Augchic711*******

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

2 posted 1999-08-04 10:19 AM

This is a extreamly nice poem...a very good idea... be careful of the little mistakes though.....see what you think of this:

I wanna be the woman,
You see when you're asleep.
I wanna be the woman,
who makes you feel so weak.
(I wanna be the woman,
With kisses that you greet.)
I wanna be the woman,
Who makes you feel complete.
I wanna be the woman,
Who makes your passion rise,
I wanna be the woman,
You kiss between the thighs.
I wanna be your everything,
And set your heart afire.
I wanna be the woman,
The one which you desire.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

Cinderella
Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 152
Arizona

3 posted 1999-08-04 10:37 AM

"Hoot" you did wonders, but the subject matter is what counts! I would love to be this woman and perhaps someday will be lucky enough to find "Mr. Right", or perhaps I have found him but don't know it?

Thank you both.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

4 posted 1999-08-04 10:39 AM

If he kissed ya once will he kiss ya again?....Be sure...with Pristine feminine hygiene spray!!!!!.....

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