Open Poetry #1 |
through my mother's eyes |
redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
(written when I was 15, my first actual finished piece of anything, but I still like it, tell me if you think I should make it into a song).. thanks Through my mother's eyes were seen the days of Christmas's gone by When all her children came in haste to gather by her side No tree this year my little ones she would apologize Though we all hoped it wasn't true Your mother doesn't lie Through my mother's eyes was see a tree with Christmas lights so bright But it would need a little help to make it look just right It's not much, she said, but it will do We'll have a Christmas tree And it will be the best of all You just wait and see It was oddly shaped and very small but beautiful indeed Even thought our Christmas tree was just a tumble weed Though time went by and years between I still recall the sighs When we all saw a Christmas tree Through my mother's eyes. ------------------ ------------------ Kay-lynn |
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© Copyright 1999 redwriter1 - All Rights Reserved | |||
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Absolutely wonderful!!! I loved this one, thanks for posting it. It really works and a song? quite possibly! ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
I'm glad you like it. It's supposed to be a true story.. according to my mother.. and hey.. if you can't trust your mother who can you trust?? (smile) but even if I don't remember being there, I still see the whole thing through her eyes.. the master story teller. ... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Beautiful, Red. A heart-touching ballad that would make an excellent song, in my opinion. |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
thank you Balladeer.. I was hoping. someone would read the ramblings of a 15 year old. Even though i'm now 36.. I re-read this often and think.. I can't believe I wrote that.!..you're very kind |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
lucky you saved your teen poetry, redwriter1...i didn't and still regret it...this was a lovely poem ------------------ one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...your countenance...eight short weeks...My One and Only...Music to my Ears...hoarse whispers...just watching tv...Feel the need?...serving wench...Tribute to M.J....take a guess...sink or swim ...stolen hours...the mistress...Perfection...a little girl...Mr. Jones...life is like...insomnia...devotion...07-20-69...craving... Master...chat?...apart...plain...vice...shameless self promotion |
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Delores Hall Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342USA |
Nice poem.At that age most kids can't see thru their mothers eyes.As far as making it a song.I don't know.If it's something you want to do go for it. |
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graham Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 60South Yorkshire, England |
The ability to see through anothers eyes is an amazing gift. To be able to write about that is truly wonderful. I loved it! |
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