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Open Poetry #1

Falling

CSwtThng
Member

since 1999-07-28

Posts 124

0 posted 1999-07-28 06:52 PM

I feel I'm falling down so low
Falling don't know where to go

In this darkness will I rise
Back up to their watchful eyes

Watching every move I make
I pray the lord my soul to take

To take me far away from here
To a place without such fear

I cannot fit this mold they've made
All these rules can't be obeyed

Someone please set me free
Can't they all let me be

pusskatt
Junior Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 30
Austrralia

1 posted 1999-07-28 07:01 PM

A dark one, I feel like this a lot.

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

2 posted 1999-07-28 07:03 PM

Sometimes we all wish we could just be free, and not have to worry about anything. Nice job.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

3 posted 1999-07-28 08:24 PM

I think you did a nice job. I also want to say thanks for your comment, I have faith in God. The poem was written for a friend.
If I may I would like to make a suggestion on the 2nd line here. Maybe "falling don't know where I'll go?" Just a sugestion. You have done a good job.

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