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blueloon
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 161
NY

0 posted 1999-07-28 04:59 PM

Last night I laid in bed,
I couldn't remember a word that you said.
Only the look on your face,
when I told you I needed space.

Your face went white,
your hands trembled with fright.
I've threatened you with so much pain,
my head has gone insaine.

I don't know what happended, but the last thing I knew,
my love hadn't grown for you.
I'm sorry for this,
But this was our last kiss.

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

1 posted 1999-07-28 10:47 PM

*sigh*...breaking up is hard to do, even if you are the one to initiate it

------------------
I will live my life as i, will undoubtedly die - alone ~~~Morrissey~~~

nicnac8
Junior Member

since 1999-07-28

Posts 46
New York, N.Y. USA

2 posted 1999-07-28 11:15 PM

Hey! Why did u wait until after you slept with him/her?

INclan
Senior Member

since 1999-07-20

Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

3 posted 1999-07-28 11:47 PM

I hope this is not real life...if it is, it is lame. Good poetry and interesting sentiment a sorry statement of commitment for real life. It sounds like the perpetrator doesn't really understand love.

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite

since 1999-07-25

Posts 2646
Arkansas

4 posted 1999-07-28 11:51 PM

Man, I'd hate to be in love with you...if you broke my heart like that, I'd have to spank you !! Bad boy....(I hope you're a boy - I think you're a boy...)

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

blueloon
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 161
NY

5 posted 1999-07-29 10:08 AM

nicnac8...The person never slept with anyone in this poem....just merely fell out of love...INclan....it is sad that commitment can't always be the common goal in a relationship...Poet....I am sorry to dissapoint you I'm not a boy! Thank you for your contiuned feedback....Elvira...Thank you for kind words...
blueloon

[This message has been edited by blueloon (edited 07-29-99).]

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

6 posted 1999-07-29 10:33 AM

Lady Blue

Your poem reminds me of the song by Bill Withers(?), "Use Me Up"(?), in which he sang, "You can keep on using me, until you use me up." It was a 70's song. It would be perfect as a response to your poem. :-)

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