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| Open Poetry #1 |
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name? |
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deannamarie Junior Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 43WI |
Can you give me your ideas for revisions or a name? Sometimes I don't feel you're giving all you got show me someting either way and I'll know if I should stop I'm begging to get closer but something pushes me back I want to believe what you say but something seems to lack Sometimes it seems to me you couldn't live without me here but sometimes it seems to me you don't see me pulling you near All these things I want to say but I know I'll never tell you say I'm the one you want but you didn't notice that I fell Somehow you need to show because your love is hard to see oh, yes, I know that you care but you mean much more to me I don't think you understand exactly what I'm trying to say just tell me we're both here and I promise I'll never stray |
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| © Copyright 1999 deannamarie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
there is a "Critical Analysis" forum if you seek honest, constructive criticism  Welcome deannamarie...------------------ If I had my mouth I would bite. If I had my liberty I would do my liking. In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~ |
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