»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #1
»
Eternal sleep...
| Open Poetry #1 |
|
Eternal sleep... |
|
|
poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas 
|
My soul's exploding with darkest hue - A raging sea - my time here...through. My dreams are shattered... As though it mattered. To close my eyes with eternal dream - To walk along a crystal stream... To just feel love... From God above. No one could ever heal my soul No one could ever make me whole - Please let me sleep... Eternal deep. ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Gennifer David - All Rights Reserved | |||
Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Well metered and rhymed, nicely expressed, though there are one or two extraneous lines that if I were writing I would leave out. i.e. Line #4 (I don't understand it's significance, but that could just be a personal problem of mine.) ------------------ Even with a lot of imagination, does it make the story less true? |
||
|
Delores Hall Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342USA |
Beautiful poem.Happy writing. |
||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
So very vivid...and so expressive. Keep it up!  ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "I will sail my vessel 'till the river runs dry, like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky..." Garth Brooks |
||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
You'v done another great job, poetFemmeFatale! It's a great expression of how so many of us have felt at one time or another. Thank you. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||