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Open my Soul
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Open my Soul |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Open my soul, Throw out the key... Leave it exposed, Let it be free... Open your eyes, See what you'll find... I assure you it's something, you won't leave behind... Give it no time, or limits in space ... My soul is much more than you'll ever expect... Open the lock, and I'll hold the door... to the place where I begin, and you seem to unfold... [This message has been edited by ac (edited 06-19-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 ac - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
ac...I like the idea and the poem has a good cadence to it. I would like it more if the rymes in the last two stanzas were a little closer (space/expect, door/unfold). I am saying that to help, not criticize. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business, if you want. |
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daniel New Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 1San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I've said this myself sometimes. Unfortunately they never listen. Hope you have better luck. |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
No, Balladeer, i appreciate the feedback, especially from you, I've read your work and I'm still in awe. Regardless, you're right, i'm usually really partial to the rhythm of what i write but it just flowed that way and i let it slip that time... |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
lovely contend...too many close-minded people in the world today, afraid to open up to another ------------------ If I had my mouth I would bite. If I had my liberty I would do my liking. In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~ |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
I couldn't agree with you more...i wish more people would realize that it's when we let go and open up freely that we'll be able to find some common ground... |
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