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DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

0 posted 1999-07-24 05:04 AM

My hate
and rage
has risen tonight,
crawled
it's way out
of my pit.
Something happened
to kill my delight,
I'm trying to
express it.

I hate men
for how
they treat women,
women deserve
so much more.
I hate women
for how
they treat me,
as something
they should abhor.

Even
those women
I call my friends,
in some ways
just do not care.
Their friendship
it seems
really depends,
on constant
dramatic flare.

I want to be loved
for being me,
not a puppet
on a string.
The strain
is unbearable
you see,
soon
I'll be
a broken thing.

©1999 DreamEvil

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©

~one voice~
Senior Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 664
Billings, MT USA

1 posted 1999-07-24 05:08 AM

I will make sure that I handle you carefully...for you are special to me you see... I would never want to harm you...physically, or emotionally...

------------------
~onevoice~

"I never kissed somebody so that they would break my heart."

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

2 posted 1999-07-24 07:45 AM

indeed, it is an inate need of everyone to be taken at face value, and, alas, it so rarely happens.....well i am knackered and must be off to bed

------------------
If I had my mouth I would bite.
If I had my liberty I would do my liking.
In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~

[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-24-99).]

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

3 posted 1999-07-24 08:21 AM

You expressed your feelings very well. Sometimes we need to rise above the confict to see it in a different light. Just a thought here, I am not condeming you. I have come to enjoy your writing very much, and feel you have a wonderful talent.

Dragon
Member

since 1999-07-14

Posts 138
Highmount,NY ,USA

4 posted 1999-07-24 11:30 AM

As I have said before...you are truly blessed ....I love you for who you are....well done.

quote99
Junior Member

since 1999-07-14

Posts 17
US

5 posted 1999-07-24 11:48 AM

Enjoyed this one. Thanks.

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

6 posted 1999-07-24 03:04 PM

I'm sure.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

7 posted 1999-07-24 04:01 PM

Your sentiment is appreciated (being a woman who would like to be treated well by a man). I especially liked: "My hate/and rage/has risen tonight/crawled/it's way out/ of my pit". The placement of the word "crawled" as a line unto itself is very well executed. That entire stanza, IMHO, is excellent. The second stanza seems more like you are "telling" your audience instead of "showing" your audience. Your point is well taken, though, and to me, that overrides any critical comments I could have about construction. (I'm only critiquing because I was reading the thread in another forum about your opinion on poetry.... and I thought my comments here would be appreciated).

Anyway, DE, nice work. And thanks for letting me see into your soul with my PERIscope. hehehe

dp

Sweet T
Member

since 1999-06-14

Posts 64
mesa, arizona maricopa

8 posted 1999-07-24 08:29 PM

Very well put, my dear. Women listen up we need to start treating our men like they are mindless savages. There are a few good ones left. Dreamevil baby I know you are one of them.

.close your eyes and look for love in mine.

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

9 posted 1999-07-25 01:34 AM

Thanks again.

Ominous
Member

since 1999-07-04

Posts 68
Canada

10 posted 1999-07-25 02:10 AM

A well spoken piece.
There are some women out there that will never intentionally hurt you. I being one.
You have become very dear to me.

Thank you for your inspiration.

------------------
I am but a shadow, lost within this world of darkness

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

11 posted 1999-07-25 12:47 PM

Means alot to me.

Colin
Senior Member

since 1999-06-05

Posts 596
Callington, Cornwall, England

12 posted 1999-07-26 02:22 AM

I read this for the first time this morning, it having been "swallowed" in the midst of other poems. Well done! Taking your emotions and writing about them honestly AND ending up with a good poem at the end of it is often hard to do, but you've managed it.

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