December 30, 1997 - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #1

December 30, 1997

Brianne
New Member

since 1999-07-14

Posts 6
Boston, MA

0 posted 1999-07-16 02:56 PM

Sleep,
The most precious blesing bestowed
from God
The doorway to the soul of the imagination
The cliff from which you fall and
slip beneath the clouds of reality
A blessing for those without sin?
A priceless gift for the untainted?
The dream-catcher transforms from friend to foe
The yearning to feel his embrace again
Instead,
A shadow haunts
An unfamiliar silohette in a cracked doorway
A demonic eye intimidates the gaurdian angels
Footsteps match the rythmic heart
Peace becomes aggression
A caress becomes a blow
Tears swallow laughter
Screams match those of the terrified angels
The carpet of reality slams you
The evil slithers away
Leaving the venomous, bloody wound

Brianne

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-07-16 03:08 PM

The flow of Darkness from begining to end is a little choppy, smooth the transition and I think it would flow better. All in all, a marvelous piece.

------------------
Being paranoid is the biggest reason I'm still around to practice my paranoia.
DreamEvil©

blueloon
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 161
NY

2 posted 1999-07-16 05:37 PM

I can not stop the tears that flow from my eyes. You plucked a sensitive string within. Thank you for saying what I can not.
blueloon

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